Wednesday, March 31, 2010

No More Boatshow!


Bully news. I have just learned that the 2011 City Budget accounts for no revenue from the Boat Show. No revenue!

A cool $600,000 unaccounted for.

Perhaps they have moved the show to Pasadena or Glen Burnie. This certainly couldn't be an error by the crack accounting team in City Hall.

My afternoon naps in October are safe again.

Thank you Mr. Smith!

King of George

Whopps! Another $3,000,000 Gone

Brave Hearts:

I am disconsolate. My Trustees are playing havoc with me. Once again they have denied my request for the new Bugatti. In favor of things called 'funds' and 'preferred stock'. You see, the market has not been to their liking and they have chosen to retain my cash.

I understand Mayor Cohen is suffering a similar financial distress. It seems Mr. Smith has chosen to forgo $3,000,000 in funds that are owed to the City by the County for the operation of the City's sewage treatment facility. Two years of revenue in fact. Controlled by his friend Mr. Hammond.

Why Mr. Smith would choose this course is clear: it intensifies his made-up financial crisis and thus his power. It's obvious it allows him even more latitude in his gleeful firings and his de-unionization effort. At the same time he re-appoints his own cronies into positions he just 'eliminated'. Like Economic Development.

Even though it is venal and petty, we must back Mr. Smith in this effort to deny the City funds, intensify the budget 'crisis' and misrepresent to the public. It is just the way our new City government must work.

It's an Ancient Citte and our traditions must hold!

Of course, my Trustees should follow a different path. The Bugatti is only $1,000,000.


King of George

Sunday, March 28, 2010

More Citte Services for Historics

Fellow Historics:

As my family knows, my trustees won't let me within a furlong of my own finances. It all started when I purchased that Scottish castle without dear papa's permission. Ever since then, I have been in a financial lock down. Unable to adequately provide for my own means between 6 figure wire transfers.

Hence, you can imagine my glee to hear today that Mr. Smith and Mayor Cohen have loosen some discretionary cash. They have wisely increased the budget for contract employees by over $2,000,000 from Ellen Moyer's budget. Thus they have out Moyered Moyer.

This will help us fill the the quality of life gap in the Historic Core.

I believe we can contract out a number of new services for those of us who have to endure downtown. This could include a public defilement patrol, to ensure no more issues with human waste on our streets. Or the creation of an economic decline division, to assist businesses in filing bankruptcy paperwork faster (especially those pesky bar owners with midnight licenses). So we can finally, and irrevocably, get businesses out of the Historic Core.

We also applaud that Mr. Smith is filling these positions without posting, without resumes and without interviews. Very appropriate we think. Why, again, did Ms. Moyer trifle herself with these encumbrances?

We couldn't be happier to see the city rolls filled with political patronage jobs only loyal to Mr. Smith, the Mayor and the Historics of the Core.

It's about time.

King of George

We Need The Super Wealthy

Gentle Hearts:

Mayor Cohen has never spoken truer words: we need a better class of visitor to Annapolis. As a resident of the Historic Core, I completely agree.

Our visitors have an average income of only $73,000 a year!

This is almost double Baltimore's average of $38,000 and is the highest of any area in the State of Maryland. More importantly, we net more revenue per visitor in Annapolis, also number one in the State. More than Baltimore, that gets double the number of visitors.

Yet Mayor Cohen is right to be miffed. So you know what $73,000 buys these days? Barely entry to the middle class.

To boost our numbers in line with the Mayor's proposal, I suggest the following:

-- A 'means test' for all visitors. Similar to what the SEC does to qualify investors for risky investments, one must have a liquid net worth of at least one million dollars. We will then issue special wealth identity cards to those that meet these criteria. These must be displayed at the new gated entry points to the Historic Core.

-- Attractions designed for the super wealthy. This would include converting the parking lot on City Dock to a polo field and the Rec Center to squash courts. Lighted croquet grounds and refreshments at St. Johns for 24/7 matches. A special landing zone for helicopters in the Paca Gardens. You get the idea.

-- Remove offending institutions. It's is time for the Naval Academy to leave town. They are part of the problem. Bringing in the middle classes who hope to see little Johnny or Suzy one day as a naval officer. We should relocate the State Capitol somewhere else too. We have been making sausage far too long in this town. How about to Taneytown?

Not everyone will be able to experience the Historic Core.

That's why there is Eastport. All those unqualified can sit on the other side of the creek and gaze in wonder thinking of the experiences that are not good enough to enjoy in the Core of the Ancient Citte.

Thank you Josh Cohen for speaking the truth and focusing on a real need we have.

It's the most rational thing we have heard in a while.

King of George

Friday, March 26, 2010

Bienvenue Greta

Mes Amis:

I think it is fair to report neighborhood news here, non?

Ms. Greta Van Susteren, most recently of Fox News, has purchased a significant property within the Historic Core. Perhaps 100 yards from City Hall on the Duke's street.

Of course, the Van Susterens are well known Marylanders. Her sister has been active in the Maryland environmental movement for many years. So, naturally we welcome her back to the Ancient Citte.

Nevertheless, our doubts remain of her association with this new fangled 'electronic' media. Involving things called 'cable' and 'chips'. We are still suspect of the Guttenberg press and Jonas Green. And, of course, the Dutch are relative new comers to our citte.

Yet we will suspend all doubt for the time being.

Greta, welcome home.

King of George

Plus Ça Change

Gentle Annapolitans:

Returning from the Palm Beach polo grounds on the G5, I was welcomed to 30,000 feet by a magnificent sunset last evening, pictured above. Of the sunsets in my 271 years, they never cease to astound. Whether at Machu Piccu in the high Andes or in the jungles of Boreno, plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

This continuum was evident upon my entourage's arrival on King of George Street from Le Voyage du Sud.

Our servants were quite exercised. Alledging, parapharasing the dear Bard, that something remains afoul in Denmark.

Apparently, City Hall is a buzz with talk of the firing of Mr. Rob Schuetz earlier this month. It purportedly had little to do with his job performance or cost reductions -- at least for the citte. It is said it was really about political favors of a pecuniary nature.

As I corresponded earlier this month ("33 Fired Today", March 5th), the litigation with the APD HQ includes one Eastern Waterproofing Company, a subcontractor on the APD site. They reputedly did a good job, but their management practices were not up to Mr. Schuetz's liking. So he included them in a lawsuit.

One of the principals of this business may have direct ties to Mayor Cohen and has purportedly hired local attorney, financier and lobbyist Alan Hyatt. The rumor swirling through the servant's quarters is that the Mayor was asked by his friend to 'go easy' on Eastern Waterproofing. So, just one month after he was assured by Mr. Smith that he still had a job in City Hall, Mr. Schuetz was fired. Other employees in City Hall who have knowledge of the facts of this case are purportedly scared they will be next in Mr. Smith's purge.

The additional detail to this rumor is that Eastern Waterproofing was being sued for a mere $600,000. This might keep 10 city employees delivering services for a year, non? Or pay for my trip to the running of the bulls in Pamploma (as an observer only!).

A trifle, nothing.

Moreover, city suits have been dropped against all other miscreants in the APD debacle. I certainly hope these situations involve more cash.

Small amounts debase us.

Mr. Smith: if you engage in skullduggery make sure it is for a real sum. A few billion perhaps. Not rounding errors in St. Barts.

And, let's keep the cash where it belongs. In the off shore accounts of the rich.

Annapolitans demand nothing less.

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

King of George

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Cohen's Punitive Expedition

Fine Fellows:

Politics in the Ancient Citte is often difficult to understand. All the ward numbers, one through eight.

Of course, there is only One Ward of consequence: Ward One.

And not even most of that qualifies. The ruffians in Truxton Heights, Presidents Hill, Bloomsbury Square and Murray Hill need not apply. Only those who inhabit the Historic Core should have any voice at all in the affairs of my citte.

That is why I was so dismayed to hear that Mayor Cohen had threatened the Aldermen from Wards 3, 4 and 6 with a punitive political expedition this week.

Apparently, these three have had the audacity to challenge the policies of Mr. Smith and, most egregiously, offer legislation that challenges his illegal coup and self dealing. Giving himself a $53,000 raise to run the new junta in the citte and police protection while he fires career employees.

The wheels of democracy have rightfully offended offended young Mayor Cohen. The fact that these Aldermen worked to elected him in their wards after those same places came out en masse to support Ms. Pierre or that the parts of the citte he has selected for punishment are predominantly African American seems to not have registered on the young man's mind.

We're also told that he threatened to tie Ms. Ellen Moyer as a political millstone around their necks to crush the kernels of democracy. This seems bizarre given that Ms. Moyer always carried these areas of the citte quite easily and remains overwhelmingly popular there.

Such is often the case with those odd Eastporters. They get along with just too many people below our station.

But what does he hope to accomplish with this piecemeal tactic?

Mayor Cohen's mistake is to limit his political assault to just Wards 3, 4 and 6. The King believes he and Mr. Smith should take on Wards 2 through 8 as well. Plus those parts of Ward One outside the Historic Core.

Perhaps he should just declare the Historic Core independent and ruled by Mr. Smith and himself. That would save us all a lot time and money.

The King is standing by with his truncheon.

King of George

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Let's All Leave Town

Gentle Readers:

The King has had to leave his throne on King George Street. One of my polo ponies went lame after an especially energetic match this week in Palm Beach. So I had to net jet away to the South to manage his recovery.

It seems I am not the only one delivering them self out of the Ancient Citte. Mayor Josh Cohen has now decided that working on former Mayor Moyer's agenda out of town is better than working on one of his own in.

We have learned of two trips this week. One to Capitol Hill with Ms. Zina Pierre to push Moyer agenda items forward and another to Olde Town Alexandria for 'coordination' meetings with city officials there.

(I have had such meetings in the past. They usually involve multiple brandies in front of Josephine and Harvey Poe's fire.)

I agree with Mayor Cohen's desire, nay need, to get out of town. As a fellow avoider of conflict and delayer of the inevitable, he now realizes the plug will be pulled on Mr. Smith. This news was delivered by at least two members of city council this week. He has wisely chosen to put off to tomorrow what he could do today (or, in my case, have hired someone else to do today).

To further postpone the Smith firing, I suggest additional trips.

These could include the following:
-- Johns Hopkins Hospital - to investigate spinal implants for the Mayor (these are now made of titanium and are quite light of weight!) to help him in his dealings with Mr. Smith
-- Career Transition Services Center - for Mr. Smith since he will eventually need them
-- The Lester Maddox Museum and Hate-a-torium - surely educational for Mr. Smith

There are others trips of value I am sure.

Since he does not seem to share Ms. Moyer's phobia of turbine driven aircraft, he is welcome to join me. Monday morning I am off again to Palm Beach International on the G5 to attend to the ponies then to sunny Naples for some needed frolic on the white sands of the Port Royal Club.

To quote another Maddox (Dale, not Lester):

"It is great being Mayor. As long as you are not in Annapolis."

Yours in Fidelity.

King of George

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


Fellow Historics:

It appears Mr. Purcell is at it again. I reference this afternoon's post on his scurrilous blog Annapolis Poltical Scene ( Mr. Purcell claims the windows pictured above may be of plastic manufacture.

The subject of his scorn is the residence of Mr. & Mrs. Christopher Buchheister of Wagner Street. Although this property is not within the Historic Core of downtown, it is subject to HPC regulation.

Mrs. Buchheister is the current President of our beloved Ward One Resident's Association. As such, she is sworn to uphold the most important of our God given prerogatives: PROPERTY RIGHTS.

Mr. Purcell should also be advised that Mrs. Buchheister is politically well connected. Aide-de-Camp for Delegate Maggie MacIntosh, campaign Treasurer for Alderman Richard Israel and a former member of the City's Democratic Central Committee. Although these political persuasions are too republican (small r) for my taste, she will be a potent political threat to anyone wishing to intrude on her rights of peaceful use and renovation of her home.

Of course, there is a another option for the Buchheisters -- blame it on their contractor! As was the case with the Miller's columns, perhaps they were fooled into putting plastic windows in place? That would make them an innocent in the vile schemings of the working classes.

Whatever the case, in the name of PROPERTY RIGHTS they must be left alone.

I do not for a minute believe it is within Mr. Pucell's purvue to report violators of our HPC codes. In fact, the citte's Director of Historic Preservation should be honor bound to reject all such attempts to embarrass or do harm to our Ancient Liberties.

Especially our right to selectively enforce Historic Preservation laws.

Mr. Purcell, why don't you chase some chickens out of your yard, put a new coat of paint on your shack and stay out of our citte?

King of George

FEMA vs. Firings

Brave Hearts:

Word reaches this gentle correspondent this morning of more choices of necessity being made by Mr. Smith.

In his binge firings, Mr. Smith has forgotten to file the paperwork with FEMA for the Citte to be re-compensated for some of the costs related to snow removal in the last three months. Of course, he has fired the Director of Emergency Management, Mr. Edward Sherlock, who usually handles such mundane tasks. Now Mr. Smith must do his paperwork himself.

I feel this is not an unusual thing. Firing people can consume so much time. Handing them a cardboard box to put their things in and turning off their phone and computer.

In a personal case, the firing of Fitch, my fifth butler, took mother almost six months to accomplish!

So either taxes must go up or there will be even more cuts or Mr. Smith will have to focus on his own paperwork rather than the destruction of human lives.

We in the Historic Core hope, nay pray, for more cuts! For they are so much more fun than paperwork.

King of George

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I Hate Me

My Dearest Friends:

Having learned at the feet of my dear uncle Hugo, the zeitung boss of Basel, I know the value of an apprenticeship. Not that long ago, Mayor Cohen was a mere intern in the the Department of Planning and Zoning himself. Cutting his teeth on the sinews of the bureaucracy.

So tonight we learned Mayor 'Junior' Josh Cohen is cutting the intern program that helps young people develop job skills and that brings needed support to the city at no cost. The same one that that brought him into our Citte's government.

So many years ago. Was it five or ten?

Bully I say!

Killing those who gave you political life makes so much sense in the Ancient Citte.

King of George

Illegality in the Ancient Citte

The Blueback Trout

Dear Fellow Historics:

Assets and liabilities have always eluded me. My trustee takes care of all the little pecuniary details of my life. Like the fees to stock my pond with Blueback Trout. Or the currier's for Aces Diamond Rio, my champion stallion.

But I do understand process and procedures. I cannot spend money for, say, a new Bugatti without my trustees approval. (Please! It's only 1,000 hp.)

So I'm confused why Doug Smith will not follow the law. It a very simple one: all modifications to the budget must get approved by the Finance Committee and the Council.

So what about:
-- Pay raises in the Mayor's Office totaling $205,000 done without council approval
-- Pay raise and a new position for Doug Smith totaling $144,000 without council approval
-- Reorganization of departments that will total nearly $1,000,000 without council approval
-- Special "Paranoia" Police protection for the Mayor and Doug Smith totaling over $500,000 per year without council approval

All illegal.

Plus firing of city workers undertaken by CAO Doug Smith who was illegally appointed. Thus illegally fired.

But to have your administration founded on illegal lies?

I understand avoiding legal strictures for one's own benefit. Like the HPC, who must be avoided at all costs. Even if we have to violate legal codes for life, liberty and the pursuit of plastic columns.

Really! How Ward 8 of you.

King of George

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Should the Historic Core Remain Green?

Fellow Annapolitans:

I have always felt a certain kinship with nature. As a young man growing up in Davos, I remember weekend trips in dear papa's Aston Martin to hike the Weisshorn. It was always refreshing to enjoy the Alpine air and study the flora at 3,000 metres.

So you can imagine my consternation at the cuts to environmental programs in the Ancient Citte:
-- Two storm water engingeers let go at a time when storm water has become the water pollution issue nationally.
-- Floating island program to clean up Spa Creek halted.
-- The closing of Waterworks Park.
-- Defaulting on over half a million dollars of Federal funding for street end storm water treatment.
-- Greenscape programs eliminated.
-- $90,000 in a Federal grant let go to provide provide green thermal energy for the Markethouse.
-- Attempts to privatize the Annapolis Conservancy Board.
-- And a promise of 'no more rain gardens' from Mr. Smith.

Is his desire to keep the plebeian masses from our door by making Annapolis less attractive?

We understand this. This is the same trick old Aunt Bert used to play on us as children when she would plant elderly wet kissed upon our rosy cheeks. We would never want any of that anymore and thus we kept a wide berth!

Yet we fret. Exactly how does Mr. Smith propose we spend our day? And what will be the final outcome of Mr. Smith's anti-environmentalism?

If it brings less people into the Historic Core, then we shall shout hooray!

Although we may be doing so through our oxygen masks and chemical suits.

King of George

Word of the Day: Noblesse Oblige

Dearest Friends:

I find educating the public to be an obligation for those of us with social prominence in the Historic Core. So today I shall remind those in political positions of power of their burden, their noblesse oblige.

You see, you are my social inferior. Nevertheless, I shall never remind you, or others in your social standing, of this fact. Actually, I shall go out of my way to mingle and act with comity at required points of social contact. Such as the ladies tea party after having won a May Basket award, the fifth year in a row. Or during post riding brandies at the Clagett Farm in South County. Or shooting doves on the Eastern Shore with my man servant. You get the idea.

This is my noblesse oblige.

Lamentably, this is so lacking in our citte government. The public glee with which Mr. Smith and Mayor Cohen make public threats on the radio and destroy careers, as sad and paltry as they may be, is distressing to my gentle demeanor. In fact, Mr. Smith is veritably giddy in his wanton destruction of the sinews of democratic government. They have even surrounded themselves with a cordon of constabulary to prevent any social intercourse whatsoever.

Mr. Smith and crew enroute another firing.

I believe this reflects poor breeding. Mayor Cohen was raised on Monticello Avenue, a noted locale for hot heads and Historic wannabes. Heaven knows where Mr. Smith is from. Certainly not from the Historic Core of the citte.

Let us hope Mr. Smith and Mayor Cohen will begin to better treat those who have served us for years with fidelity and honor yet have unjustly found themselves under their axe. After all, noblesse oblige requires us to veil our distain.

Merci beaucoup.

King of George

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Fellow Travelers:

Unelected bureaucrats are now cordoning off their lives from common people with our own police. The same police that have run up the largest overtime bill in the City's history.

The picture above was taken this morning by a concerned citizen in front of Doug Smith's house on Revell Street. Of course Revell is not in our Historic Core. And, in fact, Mr. Smith's home is far from historic, being a knock down rancher that somehow passed HPC review in 2002 (let me see, how exactly did that happen?).

Nevertheless, I say Bully!

We need over-the-top extravagantly costly protection if we are to safely celebrate while Rome burns. When Mr. Smith wastes money, he knows how to do it: spend it on yourself!

We in the Historic Core have one response: where is our police cordon? We are inundated with attacks by Arnoldians and Severna Parkites daily. Not to mention those pesky kids from St. Marys and Green Street School. Plus the residents from the outer Wards who seem to think this is their citte too.

Thus it is somewhat comforting to know Messr. Smith and Cohen are safe at night.

But what about us?

King of George

Friday, March 5, 2010

33 Fired Today

Good Fellows:

As a resident with 18th century sensibilities living in the Historic Core, I accept the fact that there should be some inside dealing among friends. We are a small town where everyone knows each other and we all have to go along to get along.

A case in point is yesterday's firing of the Director of Central Services, Rob Schuetz, by CAO Doug Smith. Mr. Schuetz (a non-Annapolitan from some place called 'Lutherville') was hired after the forced retirement of our dear friend Emory Harrison. One of his primary missions was to sort out the Gordian knot of the Markethouse and Police Department projects. Although its hard to evaluate in great detail, Mr. Schuetz appeared to do just that.

Interesting, the litigation is still continuing with the APD HQ and includes one Eastern Waterproofing Company, a subcontractor on the site. They reputedly did a good job, but their management practices were not up to Mr. Schuetz's liking. So he included them in the suit.

It turns out one of the principals of this business may have direct ties to Mayor Cohen. The rumor swirling through our streets today is that the Mayor was asked by his friend to 'go easy' on Eastern Waterproofing. So, just one month after he was assured by Mr. Smith that he still had a job in Cohenville, Mr. Schuetz is fired.

It would be nice for the 33 people who were fired today to know that the decision making was above board, fair and just. Yet this is the Ancient Citte. I think its a fine thing if we fire people for political reasons to take care of our friends. It's our genetics.

John Ridout would have wanted it that way.

King of George

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Let's Get Fiscal

Dear Souls:

Since we in Ward One subsist on trust funds, we have always had a hard time understanding the accountant's vocation. Nevertheless, this so called budget gap has us befuddled. Where has this money gone?

- $3,100,000 owed the City from the County for waste water treatment
- $2,200,200 for ambulance services provided by the City owed by the County
- $1,970,000 for new buses from US DOT
- $2,010,000 from the US DOE for thermal cooling for the markethouse – refused by the Smith Adimistration
- 3 grants to DNEP
* $150,000 for E Star improvements to the city
* $90,000 for improved storm water run off
* $60,000 for waste water improvements

$9,580,000 US dollars.

So what has Doug Smith done to retain these monies?


Dr. 'I Don't Know' Arnett

Dearest Annapolis:

Those 'over the bridge' have always concerned the King. Doubly perplexing are politicans who get elected and then seem to lose their bearings on how to vote and what is important.

Dr. 'I Don't Know' Arnett is at it again.

The man who abstained on last year's budget vote and is the main proponent of firing city workers is, in the new council, number one in abstentions again this year. Abstaining in one case twice on the same piece of legislation.

Being dazed and confused, he tried to adopt the infamous taxi cab horn ordinance left to us by Ward One Poseur Julie Stankivic. Fortunately, common sense was not totally absent on the council and it was defeated by a lack of even a second.

We in Ward One want to know: is there something in the air over there?

King of George

Reports from the Front


We fear for our courtyards, gardens and paths.

Mayor Cohen and Mr. Smith have pulled out the stops for the self preservation of their regime. At a Church in the African American community Smith and Cohen were escorted by uniformed police Tuesday night. Armed uniformed police officers are now in City Hall, Gorman Street and will be available in other key city buildings. And we are being told of other more secretive and extreme personal security measures being taken to protect the corpus of the principals. These costs will exceed one quarter of one million dollars for the tax payers and are mounting.

In fact, City Hall has begun to resemble the Furhrer Bunker. Lights out, little activity, art removed and just the drone of ventilation fans. Will Smith create a free fire zone around our municipal building? I suggest you pay your water bill by mail.

Alderperson Finlayson is venturing into this lair this morning to confront the Finance Chief, Dr. Elliot, about his mangled numbers and confusion between grants and tax revenues. We wish her well on her mission of peace.

These are truly historic events for the Ancient City. Not since General Butler invested Annapolis with those damned Yankee soldiers in 1862 has armed force been used to subdue our populace. Now it is not an invading force from the North but our own cops on overtime that will be used to subdue us -- all because Mr. Smith is lacking physical courage?

The first calls for a recall campaign reached our ears yesterday. As one Alderperson was heard to say "There certainly will be enough folks to go door to door with clipboard and petitions after the layoffs". 4,999 more signatures needed and counting.

We fear for our quaintness, our gardens and our paths. Will they be filled with the clip of jack boots, the crackle of political fortunes combusting and the acrid smell of subjugation?

King of George