King of George

Fences & Ascots

2011-03-18T21:09:00.004-04:00

The King's Compound, Old Caribee

Fellow Historics:

The King has found refuge in his compound in the Olde Caribee for quite some time now. The winter's wind does no longer thrill the King. Rather he yearns for the tropical latitudes.

The sap is arising and the end to all that is finally at hand. To quote dear Geoffrey:

Engendred Flour

Whan that Aprill, with his shoures soote
The droghte of March hath perced to the roote
And bathed every veyne in swich licour,
Of which vertu engendred is the flour;
Whan Zephirus eek with his sweete breeth
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the Ram his halfe cours yronne,
And smale foweles maken melodye,
That slepen al the nyght with open eye-
(So priketh hem Nature in hir corages);
Thanne longen folk to goon on pilgrimages
And palmeres for to seken straunge strondes
To ferne halwes, kowthe in sondry londes;

(Ah, the middle tongue. Why shan't we bring it back?)

The King has returned to his throne in the Historic Core, albeit it for a limited term. Ready this week-end to perform his annual Spring ritual: the Burning of the Ascots!

The Squiress' Fence

Alas, it seems the political sap is rising in the Ancient Citte and may cause ruin to the moment.

You see the ruffians beyond the Gulf in dirty old Eastport-ville have issues on their hands. All sorts of issues. Propelling this is a pedestrian plastic fence, built by a squiress in accordance with the law. Yet the fiendish 'Porters have an objection. A number of objections actually.

It's ugly they say. Without merit or purpose. Improper procedurally. And the paper work was forged. And then notarized! (What is a good controversy without the involvement of a forger or two?)

A 'Porter Criminal Behind a Fence

The fence will undoubtedly create crime they say. The same way sidewalks, streets and parks do since criminals use them as well in Eastport.

Their Alderman even got involved. Confused about his role, he led a band of misfits to abuse the poor squiress. Called five police cars. Then denied it all.

Poor Mayor Cohen was then forced to enter stage right, meeting with all those aggrieved and binding their wounds.

Ho-hum.

A Winter Ascot to be Burned

The only fence the King advocates for Eastport is one at the east end of the bridge. To keep them out of our Core. Especially away from our exclusive and reverential ceremony this Saturn-day when we Historics burn our now fecund winter ascots.

All while sipping sherry with dear Harvey and Josie.

Bully!

Keep the 'Porters out and away. Out of sight is out of mind. Just relocate the blasted fence to the business end of that foolish bridge. (I knew the General Assembly should never had let us build that thing in 1870.)

We will all be better off.

Baden Baden: The Cure & A Countess

Ah, but now my mind now wanders toward taking the cure in Baden Baden with the Countess. And frolics in Venezia soon thereafter.

Historics, even though my sojourns may move me afar, my heart is with you.

And I ask you, please, only use fences to keep the 'Porters from us.

King of George

L’état, C’est Moi

2010-11-24T19:26:00.015-05:00

Many have been asking what has become of the King ? Let it be known these past few months I have spending time abroad visiting our French and German cousins and find it exceedingly difficile to focus on the minor concerns of the colonies. Their host of little problems, political situations and minutiae of so very minor importance seem not register on the royal radar at all.

America, like the Ancient City, it seems has sunset.

I am sorry to say but la Ville Ancienne has rather become a bore as of late and collecting etchings have been of more interest to me. I have come to admire and collect your native artist Don Swann and found his work captures the spirit of what first attracted me to the Citte in the first place many years ago. Frankly the sense of a true colonial city surrounded by an unspoiled natural world has left the place. I too may have to go soon to places that are of more interest if much needed changes are not made at the Provincial Government level. Would your Mayor resign if asked ?

I have taken a liking to Hamburg and found it to be a wonderful place and the Europeans do have an appreciation for Culture I find lacking at present in backwatered Annapolis. Perhaps one day you shall have standing once again on the global stage but it will most likely not be for a very long time unless you get some leadership which seems a very long way off.

I frankly don't have the time nor inclination to care anymore.

With Kind Regards,

Your King

Got $200,000? Mayor Cohen Doesn't

2010-10-07T12:24:00.001-04:00

Dearest Historics:

The Finance Department heist lost the City $120,000. Now the latest: the Safe Streets scam lost the City $200,000. Money it never bothered to collect.

Some detail.

In December of 2009, Zina Pierre's lobbying firm helped the City of Annapolis apply for and win a 100% grant of $200,000 from the Federal Government. For 'Safe Streets' - public safety - purposes. At the time city officials had to go to Washington and actually work to get it. Lobbying Sens. Milkulski & Cardin and Rep. Sarbanes.

The money has been sitting there for almost a year now. Through the birth of the Cohen Regime. Into the dark days of Herr Smith's faked 'budget crisis' layoffs. And all summer while the Mayor spent his time having fun running his friend's campaign. Gee whiz!

Now into a new Federal fiscal year.

Yet this clock is still ticking - for a time.

Will the Cohenistas pick up the pen or a phone and go collect the money? The Feds will eventually decide it is better spent elsewhere. Like in Des Moines, for example.

So much money has been lost by this Administration through oversight and neglect. And the results of these losses placed upon the backs of citizens and city workers.

What's another $200,000 to Mayor Cohen?

Not much, really.

King of George

Cohen Lays Down the Law, One He Opposed

2010-10-05T16:48:00.013-04:00

Dearest Historics:

As you know, the true elite of the Historic Core don't give a hoot about 2 am licenses. We drink alone. And at night. We would certainly not be caught in the gins joints of the Ancient Citte.

So what if the new 2 am law passed?

Well, apparently some gears of citte government agree with the King and may not be fully engaged with the new law. Let's see, could it be the Planning Commission, the Board of Appeals and the ABC Board?

Mayor Cohen thinks perhaps, maybe. So much so he put his thoughts in writing. To the Chairs of the respective citte committees. Click on the above.

The New Look at City Hall

Jon Arason, Director of Planning and Zoning, is in the cross hairs. Some Council members are blaming him for foot dragging and obfuscation. Mr. Arason, a long time citte employee and well liked personally, apparently is not that adept at reading the tea leaves.

This Council is activist and has more power than any Council in recent memory. And he is on the bubble.

We're not sure where this is all heading. The hold-ups on the new licenses appear to be real. And the Mayor has now laid down the law. Are there fireworks coming?

Join me at my estate for a cognac at 3 am and we can debate this noble topic.

King of George

Foer: KOG is Taliban!

2010-10-05T09:46:00.026-04:00

Deraest Readers:

The King of George Victims Centre is again open for business. In this case the complainant is our own M. Paul Foer. Local hate blogger, Capital columnist and shock jock.

You see, he has decided once again that he, Sir Paul, is the ultimate arbiter of truth and justice in the Ancient Citte. Courtesy of the miracle of forwarded emails (that are making the rounds), the King has learned of his latest inquisition against businesses and the body politic.

Recently, M. Foer (pronounced: ˈfȯi-(y)ā ) sent the following inquisitive missive to one Mr. Craig Purcell, AIA; native Annapolitan, Annapolis Political Scene blogger and noted Baltimore architect:

"Mr Purcell Please explain your business relationship with Lehr Jackson and Gone to Market. This is an important item that you should have disclosed considering that you were on the Mayor's Transition Team and also that you are frequently writing about the Market House."

Perhaps rightly, Mr. Purcell felt that he owed no private business information to M. Foer and responded the same. Yet M. Foer persisted, now with personal innuendo:

"I am well aware of your opinions about me and your many false assumptions and accusations, but that is not my concern. You use your blog to defame me and others on a regular basis, but my question here is straightforward--what is your business relationship with Lehr Jackson and Gone to Market LLC? Thank you."

Once again, Mr. Purcell resisted the affronts of the hate blogger / Capital columnist. And, again, Mr. Foer persisted:

"While you continue to question my motives and attack me personally, you refuse to answer a legitimate question posed to you, but you can see that what I am doing is part of the normative news gathering process, something which is apparently foreign to you. You have been given repeated chances to answer the question, and as a community activist and blogger, you should certainly make any apparent conflicts of interest known."

"The normative news gathering process". Huh?

Even the King is baffled.

At that comic interchange Mr. Purcell relented. And gave M. Foer what he wanted. That there is no business relationship between himself or his firm with Mr. Jackson or Gone to Market LLC.

But, as you guessed. It wasn't enough for M. Foer:

"You've had plenty of opportunities to talk with me but instead you have resorted to attacking me personally, insulting me, accusing me of all kinds of misconduct (all of which was actually things in which you engaged--it's called projection) and questioning my motives, suggesting I am somehow "on the take"...and it gets worse. And you expect I should become transparent with you? I already am transparent."

Yes, transparent. Transparent banner ads for support, transparent fee-for-politics events, transparent employment by The Capital and WNAV.

Like mud.

Nevertheless, M. Foer had one last rub for dear Mr. Purcell and the other bloggers of Annapolis. Starting, for dramatic effect:

"I don't make deals with terrorists."

Gen. Ariel Sharon, IDF, standing at the gates of Beirut in 1982 couldn't have said it better.

So M. Foer continued:

"Regarding your imagined conspiracies, I will again say there is nothing of the sort going on. The fact that you and your colleague[sic] spend so much time and energy writing and worrying and complaining and attacking me, and everyone else you attack, is absurd."

So, Annapolis Political Scene, Eye on Annapolis, The Annapolis Sound and yours truly will now make the TSA "No Fly" list? Are we doomed to spend the rest of our days in a cave in Tora Bora with you-know-who? And only a 12kbs dial-up modem to Karachi?

Egads!

I, sire, for one am no terrorist. I remain loyal to God, Queen and Country. Even if its not the same ones you adore. And you shall pry the Historic Core out of my cold dead hands.

(That is a bit much, eh? But M. Foer has me rattled!)

But there is good news for M. Foer in this cloud of gloom and doom. After receiving its first client, a Ms. Charlotte Weinstein, the KOG Victims Centre is open for M. Foer himself.

We have tea with crumpets and counselors so you can talk-therapy your way back to mental peace. Undeterred by fears of terror attacks on Boucher Ave. (or should that be Severna Park?).

But please remain calm.

Please.

King of George

Dust Settles. It's Saddam vs. Young Griz

2010-10-03T12:59:00.010-04:00

Dearest Neighbors:

As we all know by now, the dust has finally settled and Chris Trumbauer squeaked by Chuck Ferrar. Yet, Mr. Trumbauer is not yet in the clear. He has to face the Monster of Monticello, Doug Burkhardt.

Mr. Burkhardt, with an eerie resemblance to Saddam Hussein, is best known in Annapolis for being Dick Israel's opponent in 2005. Losing by a solid 60/40 margin. His outlandish claims ("Hookers in Ward One!", "Hillman Garage Scandal!") largely fell on deaf ears as his highly charged campaign style turned-off many in the Historic Core.

So as a consolation prize he was then was appointed by Governor Ehrlich to run his "Smart Growth" office. As a direct report to the then Secretary of the Maryland Department of Planning Audrey Scott (mother of his campaign manager Larry Scott - see below, now Chair of the MD GOP), it was an office Ehrlich had no love for and wanted dead. Mr. Burkhardt happily acquiesced and tried to kill it over the objections of the legislative branch that legally established it.

Fred Shubbie's Facebook Pic. Really.

His campaign is being run by our very own Fred Shubbie (a.k.a. Larry Scott, son of Audrey Scott - see above). Fred-Larry is best known in Annapolis for his multiple-campaign train wreck in the 2005 municipal election. Where he ran most of his candidates right into the ground. His favorite technique was a comparative chart that distilled inaccuracies down to obvious propaganda.

Let's recap: Mr. Burkhardt hires Fred-Larry to run his campaign. He loses and gets hired into State Government at $90,000 a year to work for Audrey Scott. Then he hires Fred-Larry Scott to run his next campaign. With significant support from the MD GOP - Audrey Scott, Chair. Hummm.

Nevertheless of his internal conflicts, we're anticipating a campaign filled with invective, misrepresentation and general malaise from them. It's their play book.

Thus Chris Trumbauer, who resembles a young Grizzly Adams, has his work cut out for him. Or should we say his backers, the people doing the work.

Mayor Cohen, Kathy Nieberding, Doug Gansler and MSEA all will have to pull out the stops. Irrespective of their own weaknesses, they are starting in a strong position with Team 30 out to a strong start. Governor O'Malley's effort within the city is being run independent way with heavy support from old time Eastport Dems and their hanger-ons. This will also pull votes Mr. Trumbauer's way.

It will probably require not a huge but a significant cross over vote from Democrats in order for Burkhardt to win. It's unlikely that Doug and Fred-Larry can make this happen with their insipid and angry campaign style.

Honey catches more voters than vinegar.

King of George

Arnett to Secede. Kirby to Fight.

2010-09-27T14:39:00.011-04:00

Dearest Readers:

The King has always been a fan of wacked-out politicos. Like Texas' Governor Rick Perry. Who threatened that his state would secede from the union. And then do what I have no idea.

Now, one of our own Aldermen is threatening to secede from the Citte. And another is threatening him.

Some background. Mayor Cohen has Friday lunches for the Council. They are held in different restaurants on different Fridays and are not publicly announced. I suppose that makes them 'secret', right?

(How he gets this past the open meeting laws we don't quite know. But, as readers are aware, the King is no fan of doing business in public anyway. Smoke filled rooms are much more preferable. So bully for the young Mayor!)

So far, these lunches have met with mixed success. Often the Mayor ends up eating more crow than anything on the menu. And often the Alderfolks go astray with threats and counter threats to each other and the Mayor.

Last Friday's was held at Castlebay and shows just how absurd these luncheons have become.

Alderman Arnett, it seems, is miffed again at the Citte. He threatened that if he did not get his way Eastport would secede. (His motivation for this is clear: if Eastport pulled out it is the only plausible way the words "Mayor" and "Arnett" would ever lexographically marry.)

Yet, Alderman Arnett should have stated more accurately that his half of Eastport would secede. Aldermen Pfeiffer and Kirby have the two pieces of the other half. And Alderman Kirby at least would have none of it.

"We will send a boat with armed black men to prevent a secession. Just like George Washington crossing the Delaware." he threatened. "It's our home too."

So we will have an armed insurrection to prevent the secession of the elite-want-to-be's from across the Gulf of Annapolis?

I say, let them go.

In fact, encourage it. The quicker they leave the better off we will all become. The Historic Core shall regain its rightful place as the throne room of the citte. And Alderman Kirby's militia is much better placed at the gates to the citte to keep the rabble out.

Of course, this makes us anticipate Friday's theatre of the absurd all the more.

Maybe they will want to annex Arnold so Alderman Paone can get elected Mayor of something too.

King of George

Ms. Weinstein Responds. Ibid KOG.

2010-09-25T08:06:00.001-04:00

Elite of the Core:

After the King spoke this week, a certain Candidate Weinstein had an issue with it. Apparently, she feels she is a KOG victim. Even when he quotes her own website. Where she hawks her services for accused sex offenders.

As she pleads on her Facebook page:

"Ok, so now some horrible things are being said about me. Please my style is not to hide behind a "fake" name (don't we have enough of that in our current government). If you have something that you would like to say about me or to me, have the courage to use your real name. I will be more than happy to address any concerns that you might have and/or to clarify any rumors."

First, dear Ms. Weinstein, I may be a fictional character but I am certainly not fake. Because I only exist your mind does not make me in any way unreal. Just like Mr. Bumble from Oilver Twist.

And there's a difference between 'fictional' and 'anonymus'. I am not the product of any one person's views. Many compose my thoughts and beliefs and they belong to no one individual. As discouraging a concept as that might be to you.

Second, whining does not become a wannabe elected official.

People like their elected officials happy, gregarious. Not flustered and angry.

Didn't your Republican friends tell you that? Oh, but that's right. They all are pretty much whiny and angry on that side of the table.

Unfortunately for you, many of the posters on your Facebook page are in concord with the King. Including one, a sitting County Councilman:

"Welcome to politics. Stop whining and hit back. Hard!" - Eddie Middlebrooks, Republican AA Councilman, District 2

"Ed with the words of wisdom" - Jim Braswell

"Charlotte, my friend, you need thicker skin if you are going to run for office." - Polly Peters

Oops.

Maybe it would be easier for you to explain this website. Where you and your campaign treasurer, one Thomas A. Pavlinic, Esq., brag about your courtroom victories for those accused of sex crimes. There would be some real transparency.

So, good luck on your race. But you might consider taking down that sex crime defense website.

King of George

(Eddie, would that be considered 'hitting back hard' ?)

Crony Capital-ism

2010-09-23T12:03:00.031-04:00

Fellow Historics:

The King believes in freedom of the press. Especially when that freedom allows reportage that distorts facts and damages individuals for my benefit.

But when it does not - then hades. Let's smash the presses!

So that is why we are so blessed to be in the Ancient Citte. We have team reportage that gets the story out about the down-trodden and victimized.

We, the elite of the Historic Core.

We must always remember that the individuals recruited to perform such tasks must never be held to the standards they inflict. Thus, when you read The Capital, please forget about their scofflaw & arrogant nature.

It just gets the way of the distortions.

So bully for these Capital reporter's on and off duty accomplishments! From the Maryland Judiciary Case Search and Orange County Florida iClerk:

Biggest Scofflaw - Erin Margaret Cox - For getting caught near the King's estate on Church Circle, 12 June 2009 with expired Florida plates on her Jeep.

Of course, the Maryland MVA requires an out of state vehicle to be registered within 60 days of moving into the State. And she left her job as an Orlando Sentinel reporter back in 2006 before the Sam Zell cutbacks.

So, was that 60 days or 60 months? Seems like the arresting officer may have forgotten a charge or two.

Oh, and didn't the young lass write about Zina Pierre's residency issues?

It also seems she has a need for speed. In Orlando, Ms. Cox had two speeding tickets. On both she elected to attend classes and pay a fine in lieu of points on her record.

Yet on one she was delinquent in paying the fine, had her drivers licence suspended and paid a late fee.

On the other there are still issues. By an mere oversight I am sure, it was left partially unpaid from 2006. On November 11 2009, the amount due was sent to collections. And she still hasn't paid.

Detect any patterns?

All this pretty much disqualifies her to run for any political office in the State of Maryland. But - good news - she can still write about it!

Most Lawsuits from a Story - Eric Hartley - For the damages claimed to local attorney Louis P. Tanko. Filed in Prince Georges County Court on April 16th, the liable lawsuit is ongoing. Summons issued to not only him but his employer, The Capital.

In 2005 - 2007, M. Hartley penned a number of articles that cast a negative light on Attorney Tanko. Were there enough non-facts among the aspersions for his liable suit to be filed?

We don't know. We'll just have to make a jaunt over to the PG County Courthouse and get a gander at the suit. Yum yum!

Best Inside Court Reporting - Scott M. Daugherty - It seems even the Capital's court reporter has some personal experience with the courts. On May 6th of last year he was charged with the heinous crime of operating a motor vehicle with a minor not wearing a seat belt. He pled guilty and walked away with a $25 fine.

We hope he steps up to a bigger, badder crime this year to add inside knowledge to his stories. Perhaps grand theft auto?

Of course, there are other issues that never end up in court. Like the conflicts of interest all over the editorial page. Tom Marquardt and his self serving rants. Gerald Fischman's role. And Paul Foer's racial and hate filled tirades (plus issues with the State Comptroller and civil lawsuits against his neighbors).

So let the bloodsport begin!

We've evened the playing field.

King of George

Sex Sells. Even to Annapolitans.

2010-09-23T08:40:00.003-04:00

Dearest Readers:

The King is shocked. Shocked I say.

We write about Josh Cohen and you yawn. The Capital is mentioned and you nap. Even Herr Smith's pogroms of Moyerites are happily skipped over.

But mention a wanna be West County pol who has dealings with accused sex offenders?

Katie bar the door! Record hits and comments on KOG. Many from City Hall Annapolis and County Government servers.

Yi-ha!

It turns out our readers may be larger deviants than we originally thought.

King of George

NEXT KOG: Nude photos of Josh Cohen and Ellen Moyer!!!

Councilman Benoit Wimps Out

2010-09-21T08:49:00.025-04:00

Gentle People:

You might not want to read this post. It contains content for mature audiences only.

You see the King has discovered that County Councilman Jamie Benoit is a wimp.

Albeit a decorated US Army American hero wimp. But a wimp just the same.

His Republican opponent in the County Council District 4 race, one Charlotte Weinstein, has a track record. A very interesting one in fact. She is an attorney who has been very successful at defending sex offenders. (And with success comes money, n'est-ce pas?)

Click here. (Better read this now before they 'scrub' the website.)

So, let's take a look at some of the cases she has claimed a hand in:

"Rape ... Not Guilty Jury Verdict"

"Child Molestation ... Not Guilty Jury Verdict, Other Charges Dismissed"

"Child Molestation ... Reduced to Misdemeanor"

"Third Degree Sexual Abuse ... Favorable Plea"

"Child Abuse ... Judgment of Acquittal"

Her own web based bio says:

"Charlotte Weinstein has devoted 90% of her practice to litigation in criminal and family law. Her combination of criminal and civil litigation experience has made her a particularly effective force in the defense of sex crimes and other criminal charges that typically involve family relationships." (Emphasis added.)

Yes, every criminal needs a defender. Even the vile and guilty ones. But does that mean these defenders should also get elected to the County Council?

It's too bad Councilman Benoit refuses to talk about the track record of his opponent. Voters have a right to know the records of their candidates.

Even candidates some believe have vile and guilty ones.

King of George

And The Loser Is...

2010-09-14T13:03:00.016-04:00

Dearest Friends:

The primary is over and the only undecided race is Trumbauer vs. Ferrar. A total of 65 votes separate the combatants with 195 absentees uncounted. So there is no declared winner.

Nevertheless, it is clear that there are already a number of declared losers. Quite a number in fact:

-- Mayor Josh Cohen - He took a position in this race for reasons no one really understands. To this day.

Confounding. Writing letters, pleading and threatening even Aldermen.

And then he compounded this mistake by bumbling attempts to cast Chuck Ferrar as a Democratic carpet bagger. This white wash of Chuck only brought more heat onto poor Chris' recent conversion into the Democratic Party's fold.

The last weeks of this Cohen mis-managed campaign led to foolish tricks with faked 'endorsement' photos and the plastering of abandoned buildings with Mr. Trumbauer's signs.

Sad really.

Even if Mr. Trumbauer wins after a recount, can this Mayor ever recover his dignity?

-- Kathy Nieberding - Her long trumpeted winning streak is over now for sure. True, Zina's campaign beat her last fall, but Josh's eventual victory was a fig leaf for her dignity. But now even that one last leaf is no more.

Many in the Democratic establishment are none too upset to see her cast out. Feeling betrayed by someone they once considered to be a idealistic friend and then turn out to be a political opportunist of the highest order.

-- Carl Snowden - Dear Carl will suffer only a minor inconvenience. It's completely clear that his support for Trumbauer was ordained by Attorney General Gansler, his boss and Josh's buddy.

But every African American precinct went Ferrar 60% to 40% (on average, please). His ability to represent that he can deliver the African American vote is shot.

-- Environmentalists - And not for the obvious reason. Their Trumbauer mindless endorsements pointed out how principle-less these groups have become. The Sierra Club and The League of Conservation Voters in particular. Piling into Mr. Trumbauer's bandwagon.

Mr. Trumbauer himself had a hand in the biggest environment sell out in this City and State's history this spring. When Mayor Cohen rolled back years of environmental progress with a single stroke of the budget pen. And Chris remained mum.

Oh, Mr. Trumbauer may yet lose too. Or perhaps it will be Mr. Ferrar. But they will both soon get over it.

King of George

Scofflaws for Trumbauer

2010-09-13T13:05:00.009-04:00

Dearest Neighbors:

Desperation shows.

Uninhabited homes in the Historic Core are now showing up with Chris Trumbauer signs.

The specific home shown here has no residents living in it. Owned by people from outside the City who are running an illegal business out of it. It has been repeatedly cited by DNEP for City Code violations. And they are currently doing weekend work to their front porch without building permits or HPC approval (see the unpainted railing above).

Oh, but they support Chris Trumbauer.

Is there a quid-pro-quo here? Will DNEP and HPC lay off if they put up Trumbauer signs?

One disgruntled neighbor remarked to the King "You play by the rules and people like that are given a free pass by Josh Cohen for political reasons. If that house supports Trumbauer, then Ferrar's got my vote."

Oops.

Trouble pour M. Trumbauer a demain?

King of George

Col. Kirby's Attack on Ward One

2010-09-10T17:18:00.015-04:00

Dearest Residents:

Col Kenneth A. Kirby brought out the big guns last night. During a frontal assault on the Ward One Resident's Association.

You see, our habit downtown is to whine and complain. About everything. It distracts us from our real issues. Like our poor health. Or weakening emotional state. Or lack of rational thought.

Again last night, we whined and complained. This time about the Markethouse. We were excluded (meaning: our shadow government didn't get to choose).

Poor Aldermen Paone, Pfeiffer and Israel tried to make peace. But not Colonel Kirby.

The good Colonel would have none of it. He told Ward Oners it was not exclusively their choice. That the City Council made the decision. And they have their own disgraced Doug Smith looking out for their interests.

"You will need an Alderman to sponsor your legislation. And that Alderman will not be Alderman Kirby" he announced.

"And, if the legislation is introduced, then I will kill it in Council."

Ouch!

Snickers and general mirth was evident from his fellow Council members who witnessed his push-back of the Ward Oners. Alderman Paone was approached by one afterward and asked "Who was that? I'm never going to vote for him!"

Unfortunately, she won't have that privilege. Unless, of course, she moves into Harbor House.

Equally interesting was that the surface-skimming Capital reporter who witnessed it all went back and wrote nothing. Na-da. Apparently an Alderman from outside Ward One telling the self selected gentry what to do doesn't fit with their story line.

But, perhaps, Alderman Kirby will change that.

King of George

Moyer Destitute. Joins Distinguished Line of Former Mayors.

2010-09-08T13:21:00.025-04:00

Fellow Historics:

I am happy to report that former Mayor Ellen O. Moyer has joined an illustrious tradition of former Mayors of the City of Annapolis: she's broke and desperate.

Yes, it appears Citizen Moyer is down on her luck. She was sighted over the long weekend serving lemonade to passers by at the First Sunday Festival on West Street. Rumor has it she would also squeegee your windshield for a quarter or clean your gutters for $5.

She joins a long line of former Mayors, including:

-- 'Dickie' Hillman - He is still seen in the Historic Core dressed as a colonial tour guide after his ouster by the Ehrlich Administration 6 years ago. Anyone know where the Hillman House is at?

-- Al Hopkins - Who kept a bench seat warm for almost a decade at Chick and Ruth's after his 8 years. He was rumoured to subsist on maple syrup spills and the crust of day old toast.

-- Dean Johnson - His peripatetic ways have made some believe he is homeless. Or maybe he just isn't allowed around the house anymore.

-- Roger 'Pip' Moyer - After being Mayor, he returned to Eastport and began an existence that he himself described as 'tribal' in his oral history. Sleeping all day and chopping wood.

Oh, those crazy Eastporters!

-- Gustav Akerman - A sad sad case. We don't need to speak of the details here.

The only Annapolis Mayors who have been known to make good were John Apostol, who purportedly saved all his kick-backs and now wisely lives out-of-state in Florida.

And my cherished friend old Mayor William Pinkney. Who was U.S. Attorney General, 1811-14 for President Madison and resigned after a bill was introduced into Congress requiring the Attorney General to reside in Washington DC. And would have forced him to leave his dear home in the Ancient Citte.

So, Mayor Cohen, your choices are not good ones. Either start absconding with the funds. Get a lot closer to the President. Or find that cardboard box you always wanted.

Apparently, there's a citizen's posse out there ready to help you do just that.

King of George

KOG Sells Out. Again.

2010-09-08T07:26:00.011-04:00

Dearest Friends:

The King has been hit with some distressing news while on his late summer sojourn to Baden Baden. Copra futures are down. As are his rubber interests in Myanmar. And his copper deposits in Chile. Times are getting tighter financially.

So drastic action is required. Hence this blog must become cash flow neutral to support itself.

Starting today, I am accepting advertising. And I have a very attractive advertising program to offer you.

Better than the rest.

The Capital does not let advertisers effect their editorial content. But that's about it. Every other self serving flight of fancy they let run amok against the commercial objectives of Landmark. This includes Tom Marquardt's spiels on everything from the Bay Bridge to Maryland Hall, both where he has personal conflict of interests.

Paul Foer has taken his masters at The Capital a step further. He gives a pass to whomever writes him a check. Oh, plus you get a banner headline. So far his moral turpitude has included red lining every African American candidate last fall since none paid him. Attacking Mayor Moyer, Mayor Cohen, Mike Mallinoff, John Leopold and Candidate Chis Trumbauer.

After all, Foer's not a racist. He's a monetarist.

But the King's program goes one step further than either The Capital or Foer have dared to go. He will offer you no physical ads at all. You just pay the King and you get included.

Included in his rants. Included in his editorials. Included in his ramblings.

Plus he will excoriate your enemies for you. Just give me a list.

And none of those pesky banner ads to make the link between you and the King.

So send me some cash. And get your, err, I mean the King's, voice heard today!

We've already got one paying customer.

King of George

btw – Our Mayor Josh Cohen has been doing a super job! Trash gets picked up on time and the nasty people from the County are kept at bay. Bully for you Josh Cohen!

Trumbauer's Enviro-Sell Out

2010-09-01T09:43:00.005-04:00

Fellow Historics:

When the King thinks of islands, he remembers his youth on the Isle of Wight. A lovely place, certainly the envy of the elite around the world. Sailing and other distractions occupy days while pubs and games of chance occupy nights. In fact, it was the starting point for the Ark and the Dove on their voyage to someplace called 'Mary-land'.

So the King was taken with a local television report last week about other islands. The City of Baltimore is placing floating islands into their harbour. They float because they are made up of bundled plants. And these same plants remove nitrogen out of the water. Schools help maintain them and the National Aquarium tends them:

On the once-scenic Anacostia River in Washington DC they have also adopted such floating islands. To help clean up that degraded river.

It's a new thing we're told.

Well, it turns out that it isn't so new. Former Mayor Ellen Moyer had some of these floating islands slated for Annapolis' near-dead creeks. But this Spring their small cost was cut by Mayor Cohen. At the behest of his environmental 'Idea Team'. Chaired by Chris Trumbauer.

Little is yet publicly known about Mr. Trumbauer's back room role in the Mayor's termination of storm water programs, the refusal of Federal monies for making the Markethouse green, the halting of environmental education programs and the closing of Waterworks Park.

The largest sell out of environmental programs in the City's history. Perhaps in Maryland's history.

And it's a fact that Mr. Trumbauer was completely silent about his mentor's historic harm to his now beloved environment.

Yes, when running for office Trumbauer is an uber-enviro. When not, he has been quietly conspiring with former CAO Doug Smith and the Mayor to cut environmental programs. That would have lowered the nitrogen in the water. And reduced algae blooms that kill fish and crabs.

Bully Mr. Trumbauer!

You are correct to push back on these fancy organic islands and to support Mayor Cohen's historic defilement.

Who needs clean creeks? Like a jaunt from Cowes to Newport on the Isle, I want to be able to walk from the Historic Core to Eastport.

Across the dead zones Mr. Trumbauer has created.

King of George

Poll Tax Back: Foer Profits!

2010-08-31T11:23:00.013-04:00

Dearest Readers:

The big Ferrar - Trumbauer - Burkhardt debate occurred last night. And the winner was: Paul Foer.

Yes, Mr. Foer made a bundle last night. At least 200 paid $15 to hear a debate of public candidates. That's at least $3,000. For the privilege of hearing public candidates debate public issues.

Observers saw him running around with pockets stuffed with cash. Hitting on everyone who entered for money. With no receipts or accounting.

Will there be a public disclosure of how the monies were spent?

No.

What share will Mr. Marquardt claim of it?

We don't know.

Will he finally clean up his legal problems with the Comptroller's office now that he has money?

Probably not.

Mr. Foer was well known for fashioning his blogging around those who paid him last fall during the citte elections. Those who paid, they got a pass. Those who didn't, they got excoriated.

Mr. Foer has certainly brought traditional pay-to-play politics to a new low level:

His own.

King of George

Summer's Over & Aldermen Attack

2010-08-30T18:45:00.009-04:00

Mes Amis:

The summer is almost over and our minds have begun to clarify.

But not completely. Enough latent heat still exists to create some residual fireworks.

This afternoon things got a little hot in the Ancient Citte before the big Trumbauer - Ferrar slugfest. You see most of the Council was at a reception for volunteers of the Boards and Commissions. And words were exchanged about Josh's attack mailing against Chuck Ferrar.

Ouch!

Can you match the hot-head with their comment?

A. "Josh, I have disdain for your mailing."
B. "It was hateful and wrong. You are the Mayor!"
C. "It's OK Mr. Mayor. I'll take care of you."
D. (Snickers)
E. (Silence)

Hot-heads:
1. Alderman Ross Arnett
2. Alderwoman Sheila Finlayson
3. Alderman Kenny Kirby
4. City Attorney Karen Hardwick
5. Mayor Josh Cohen

If you matched in sequence (A-1, B-2, etc...), then you are correct!

Come by my polo pony's stable at Clagett Farms to collect your prize.

King of George

Trumbauer's Faked Foto

2010-08-30T13:03:00.003-04:00

Dearest Readers:

Chris Trumbauer doesn't need Photoshop. He has the Mayor. Who will trade just about anything to get the right people in the shot.

If you see Cohen and Trumbauer with a camera - run.

King of George

Cohen's Kid's Amateur Tricks

2010-08-29T14:48:00.037-04:00

Dearest Historics:

The King loves a sophisticated political trick or two. Like the time dear Liz tricked cousin Mary back to Scotland in 1561. And then, somehow, she lost her head.

Bully!

But, as political tricks go, it has been amateur hour lately. Especially in County Council District 6, where the grizzled veteran and General George S. Patton look-alike Chuck Ferrar is battling Cohen clone Chris Trumbauer (see: Josh's Kids vs. the Veteran, 23 July).

Normally ho hum, what makes this race so note worthy is the personal role being played by Mayor Cohen himself. Exhibit A - the above scans - a letter to the King from the Mayor. He has unwisely decided to put significant portions of his political capital at risk. If Trumbauer loses, then Cohen's political clout will be minuscule.

Given the high schoolish antics of Mssr. Cohen and Trumbauer, that is seemingly more likely than ever:

-- Pictures with Chris. At least one elected official was asked by the Mayor to stop by for the announcement of Trumbauer's candidacy. So he did. And snap. A photo was taken.

Next thing he saw was his face in Trumbauer literature. With others who were there for the announcement but had not made the decision to support Trumbauer.

Then last week, apparently, the Trumbauer campaign announced that he had endorsed him. When, in fact, he had endorsed Chuck Ferrar. Hate blogger Paul Foer, in purported concert with the Trumbauer campaign, picked it up and spread it around even more. And said elected official spent rest of last week denying it.

Not good street cred for Mr. Trumbauer.

-- Don't ask the Mayor for a favor. Or a photo. On Labor Day the Elks Club on Northwest Street have a parade. And every year they ask the City to waive fees. This year, at the same time they made their request, they were asked by the Mayor to pose with Chris for a photo. So they did. And snap. A photo was taken.

Can you guess the rest? A flyer with their picture was in the African American community within days.

Did the Mayor tie the waving of fees to the photo? We don't know.

But at least one member of the Elks Club thinks so.

-- Cynthia who? There once was an Alderwoman who represented the 6th Ward named Cynthia Carter. She is African American and is, to this day, well respected by the community.

In the Mayor's office works one Cynthia Gaines. She also happens to be an African American but is not as well known as Ms. Carter. And Mayor Office Cynthia has been making calls on behalf of Mr. Trumbauer calling herself 'Cynthia'.

A factual statement, to be sure. However, many of those receiving the calls think she is Ms. Carter. And Ms. Carter has endorsed Chuck Ferrar.

Ok, just a little bit of hocus pocus.

The larger question may be the time of day Mayor Office Cynthia has been making the calls. Ms. Carter has suggested the impostor calls may be being made during work hours. Furthermore, the 'voluntary' nature of this relationship is suspect. Forget whether it is in any way appropriate for a direct report to the Mayor to be engaged in his political effort at all.

The King would really hope that Candidate Trumbauer and Mayor Cohen could step up their level of chicanery and self dealing. It's embarrassing to be this inept at political perfidy.

We have a reputation to maintain.

King of George

Mr. Marquardt's Dilemma

2010-08-24T18:44:00.017-04:00

Dear Readers:

Mr. Marquardt has a problem. The ground has shifted under him and he doesn't know what to do. Except the same old thing.

About three years ago Landmark, the owners of The Capital after the death of Phil Merrill, tried to sell their paper. It was the height of the financing craze and before the market crash of October 2008. With $2 to $3 million in adjusted profits plus being a media property, they expected to get a good price.

A offering memorandum on The Capital was produced and a number of buyers said they looked at the deal. Landmark's expectations were purported to be $25 to $30 million. Yet no one had any interest at that price level and Landmark pulled it off the market.

Then the market crashed. Anything involving print was heavily discounted. The Internet continued to make inroads. And The Capital's operations purportedly began to hemorrhage cash.

Through draconian cuts – foisted on Annapolis by Landmark management in Norfolk - the paper returned to cash flow neutral. Since then, some advertisers have also returned, albeit in a limited way. And a semblance of order has returned to the operations.

The problem is they returned to their old business and editorial model and have hit the ceiling.

Lead by Mr. Marquardt, they have exhausted their aging white male demographic, which will continue to slowly decline. An editorial policy, to cover certain things in certain ways, has also begun to break down while unparalleled negativity has infused its pages. The policies of the paper have actually increased this trend through editorial voices like hate blogger Paul Foer and the vicious news coverage of last year's city elections.

Mr. Marquardt's own self dealing has also fed this. One example is his famous personal editorializing for third span of the Bay Bridge. If that ever came to fruition, then it would certainly significantly raise property values on the Eastern Shore.

A place Mr. Marquardt has much of his net worth tied up in real estate.

Oddly, in the middle of this, The Capital attempted an expansion into four color magazine print pieces. An ill advised attempt to compete with the 'What's Up Annapolis' franchise, it is likely to take years to get to a true break even at its current run rate. This effort is draining important resources and attention away from their core asset, The Capital, and will surely deplete additional value for Landmark.

There is little likelihood the newspaper can regain financial value – even to where it was a few short years ago – with this existing business model and management practices.

Under the leadership of Frank Batten Sr. and now Jr., Landmark has proven itself to be a deft manager of media properties time and again. It's success with creating value and liquidity at The Weather Channel was extraordinary. They get it. And they know how to do it.

Time is getting short. Landmark's manager, Mr. Marquardt, has a nearly impossible task. This, added to his own purported lack of imagination and recent financial challenges, will make the task for Landmark clear.

Change.

King of George

Cohen Outsources Annapolis

2010-08-24T06:34:00.010-04:00

Fellow Citizens:

It's been said Britain is a nation of shop keepers. If so then Annapolis is a citte of fudge and ice cream purveyors, t-shirt hawkers and gin joint operators. A motley crew.

But they are our motley crew.

Mayor Cohen has said he wants to help them. “Buy Local” he says.

His rhetoric is not keeping up with his actions.

You see, the City has moved many of its purchases out of town. Printing, for example, is now being done in somewhere named “Millersville”. Annapolis still has three independently owned and operated print shops. At least one of which probably go out of business this year. As one did in 2009.

Even attorneys are not immune from the 'off shoring' by the Cohen Administration. The lucky – and connected - multinational law firm of DLA Piper was recently awarded a $50,000 retainer to do legal work on the Markethouse. Over a number of local firms. Including one that relocated out of downtown last year over the harassment it received by the City in trying to operate out of the Historic Core.

And, of course, the $50,000 retainer is just the beginning of the billing.

Mayor Cohen's pushing of work out and off is not limited to the work itself. He has stiffed City payments. This has included holding off owed monies to a number of small business people and sole proprietors who are due in some cases significant funds – tens of thousands. This has created an appearance of non-payment for crass political reasons. Or just incompetence.

Do we need to mention the level playing field provisions of the 2 am bar ordinance? That this Mayor fought. One group of owners had them. And profited. While others were excluded. And lost. (Some have suggested that those without often appeared to be deprived of an equal playing field for reasons of ethnic or religious background. An off chance only I'm sure.)

And now these new license applications are mired in red taped at City Planning and Zoning.

Not since the days of Mayor John '10%' Apostal has government said one thing and done another quite at this level. While shaking down and damaging businesses in Annapolis.

Yet all of this leads us to agree with the Mayor. It is a long held objective of many of us to take commerce out of the Ancient Citte. Return the streets to sheep grazing and illegal games of chance run by street corner entrepreneurs.

This capitalism thing has gone too far.

King of George

The Capital Hates You

2010-08-22T10:55:00.015-04:00

Dearest Readers:

The good old days of the press in Annapolis are past. Jonas Green's type setting in the front room on Charles Street. After his untimely death, his wife Kathy's efforts to maintain and stabilize the ship. The Gazette was a lively publication that bound Annapolis with the scatterings of knowledge in the Atlantic world.

Yet the current crew of the The Capital, nee Gazette, are lost at sea.

They have a story line they will not deviate from: Crime in North County. Political shenanigans in Annapolis. African Americans who create social unrest. Women who are unfit to lead.

They hate her. They hate him. And, ultimately, they hate you.

Aided by incessant turnover of staff, the current crew might be 12 months thick. Reporter Josh Stewart, with a shallow knowledge of Annapolis, sees only what he is told to see. And then some. Eric Hartley cannot compensate in intellect for his grafted attitudes. They have created no network of sources or trust with those they 'interview'.

And then comes columnist and hate blogger Paul Foer. Need we say more?

They want transparency, but do nothing to create it. Closed meetings of the City Council don't deserve a notice from them. And the attempts of Former CAO Doug Smith to create a shadow government this spring never received even a note.

They are against self dealing - but this last week printed a screed from Trudy McFall advocating privatizing public housing. Ehhh, and who would have the most to gain from said privatization? Perhaps the President of Homes for America, Ms. Trudy herself?

The newspaper is now published by Mr. Tom Marquardt. Of the Eastern Shore. Not a resident of Annapolis. Or even Anne Arundel County.

Bully for him. I won't want to live in the mess he has created either.

Former Mayor Ellen Moyer returned from a tour of the US this Spring with one singular impression. The local papers she saw were not negative and bound up trying to make enemies and vilify their own communities, neighbors and readers.

In the longer run The Capital and its current owner, Landmark, have a problem. The market for hate mongering and fear is finite. Conservative white males 50+ that live in the County are getting older. And may still buy papers. But not forever.

The current staff will have moved on. Tom Marquardt will have wisely moved out of state. And The Capital itself will become another relic of the Ancient Citte.

King of George

Got A Leak? Call 1-800-COHEN

2010-08-21T14:41:00.034-04:00

Dearest Historics:

The King has never really concerned himself with items of a domestic nature. These include maintenance of the estate, the plantation of gardens and silencing those who need to be silenced.

So word of Mayor Cohen and City Attorney Karen Hardwick trying to stop leaks has him perplexed.

At first they took the right tack. Paying senior people to remain silent as part of a 'consulting' provision of their employment contract (see: Silence Can be Golden, April 5). Cash is so clean.

Now, the King has disclosed their closed City Council Meeting where the Mayor's inside dealing was discussed (see - Council Goes Rogue: Citizens Kicked Out, August 17). Mayor Cohen and Attorney Hardwick have decided there must be a leak. So they are trying to plug it. Including threatening one sitting Alderman.

It does not appear to have dawned on this brain trust that they have created the 'leaks' themselves. The act of firing 33 senior City employees would create some backwash. Not to mention vengefulness or ill will toward this Mayor.

Plus the crass way it was done by then CAO Doug Smith who inhabited his position in the bureaucracy illegally. And Herr Smith's continuing personal animus toward government in general. And then, gosh, it turning out the firings didn't need to be done in the first place.

So some people know some fairly specific things. And are spilling the beans.

The Mayor and Attorney Hardwick can chase Aldermen through the streets. Or threaten City employees. Or hold secret meetings to discuss the Mayor's actions.

It won't clear up the Mayor's track record. Hiring virtually his entire campaign team without the posting of jobs or interviews. Making up entirely new insider positions without following the process set out in the City Charter. And now secret meetings of the Council to discuss issues where he is personally compromised.

Mister Mayor: all the information is already out there. You want to find the ultimate source of the leak? A mirror might help you find it.

If a leak cannot be stopped then it is no longer a leak. Its water over the dam.

King of George

Pristopp Wastes an Evening

2010-08-17T15:38:00.018-04:00

Dearest Friends:

I have always had the privilege of beating the heat in the summer. During the time of the British Raj while serving dear Aunt Vicki, the Empresses of India, I would take a short spell to an Indian hill station. For 3 to 4 months. Usually Kangala in Maharashtra or sometimes Darjeeling in West Bengal.

The altitude would do wonders. Cool aires. Cavorting with my fellow elite. Catching up on last month's news from London. Quite a relief from the heat of the plains and the vexing urban life on the Sub Continent.

Heat can be so oppressive.

Thus, I worry about the Ancient Citte.

You see it seems some residents have decided to take to the streets. And do damage to APD vehicles. Right in their own neighborhood.

So far, three vehicles have been damaged in the Newtowne 20 community alone. Windows broken, vehicles damaged. We're not sure why this is.

Chief Pristoop paid a visit to the neighborhood Tuesday night to try to find out. Unfortunately for him it involves something between Woodside Gardens and Newtowne 20. We're not sure exactly what. Nor did anyone else have an idea.

It must be the heat. So I recommend we found our own hill station for all Annapolitans.

Ferry Farms would do quite well. There's a big white house with a fantastic view that could be seized through the eminent domain powers of citte. Although slightly outside the citte, we could then annex it once seized. Like we did to those Eastporters 50 years ago when they, too, stepped out of line.

It's almost 100 feet above Bay level. Sure to get a good breeze off that.

To cool some people off.

King of George

Council Goes Rogue: Citizens Kicked Out

2010-08-17T08:41:00.064-04:00

Fellow Historics:

Back room dealings. Smoke filled rooms. Closed Council sessions. The King is in his element. Bully!

Last night's closed City Council session was supposed to discuss the Markethouse. And it really was discussed.

But wait, there's more!

Unannounced, Mayor Josh Cohen's purported influence peddling scandal involving Eastern Waterproofing was discussed as well.

Some background is in order.

Under Ellen Moyer's tenure, the renovation of the APD Headquarters floundered. Lawsuits were threatened and contractors were told they had to make good on their contracts before they would get paid. With our public monies.

Former Central Services Director Rob Schuetz was working to come to an agreement with subcontractors. One of them, Eastern Waterproofing, purportedly agreed to submit only one more 'change order' and was rumored to owe the City approximately $500,000.

Steve Kling, the City Attorney at the time, is said to have had lawsuits ready to go just in case. So, Eastern Waterproofing hired an Attorney too, Mr. Alan Hyatt, Esq.

And, perhaps more significantly, Josh Cohen was elected Mayor.

Soon after Eastern Waterproofing was said to come back with 11 or 12 'change orders' that added close to $1,000,000 to what they claimed they are owed. Former Central Services Director Rob Schuetz is said to have disagreed with them. It violated their agreement he felt.

One of the principals on the City's side says Eastern Waterproofing purportedly told the other subcontractors to "stick with them" after Cohen's swearing in. That Rob Schuetz would be fired. That they would be free to pursue other claims against the City and split the difference for amounts they might be claiming above the original contracted for price (e.g., additional billings against the city).

This specific information was purportedly told to this City principal by one of the other APD contractors -- in front of witnesses.

And, as purportedly promised, Former Central Services Director Schuetz was fired.

Unfortunately, in January Attorney Alan Hyatt agreed with the City on the change orders and on the terms of a global settlement. The very next day Hyatt was said to be fired by Eastern Waterproofing. They then hired Garcete's (the general contractor on the job) attorney Larry Prosen.

The Cohen Administration then makes the decision - acknowledged by Mayor Cohen himself - to not pursue the ~$500,000 owed to the City but to 'no pay' the change orders. So needed cash is siphoned off the City's coffers. And Eastern Waterproofing still pursues additional claims through Attorney Prosen worth $1,000,000.

Oh, and Project Manager Doug Massengale is let go 1 July. A trifling detail and another wagging mouth closed.

You see, one of the owners of Eastern Waterproofing, Jeff Gray, the brother of a life long school chum of the Mayor's. The Mayor has never denied this connection. But he claims this life long friend had no special influence with him.

OK.

The issue really is: what is the true story?

On one side you have three people with inside knowledge, some of whom are talking, about what went seriously wrong and the swagged hundreds of thousands of dollars to Mayor Cohen's chum. These folks are: Former Central Services Director Rob Schuetz, Former City Attorney Steve Kling and Former City Project Manager Doug Massengale. (Note the frequent use of the word "Former"?)

And on the other side you have a story from the Mayor. Which we cannot report since it was told in closed session last night to Council members only.

The City has a process. To discuss the ethical - or unethical - behavior of the Mayor in closed session is not only wrong. It is illegal.

The City has an Ethics Board. The City Council does not, nor should it, have the power to investigate ethics charges against one of its own, even the Mayor. Especially in closed session.

The Council strayed way off course last night.

But, you see, the King approves. This is simply how things are done in the Ancient Citte. After 350 years, our ways are too stuck in the past to let anything change our behavior.

It is good to go! Rogue that is.

King of George

Shrink of George: Du Bist Krank!

2010-08-08T17:13:00.014-04:00

Meine Kinder:

I am not King of George.

I am his psychoanalyst. And I have asked for this space from the King to perform an important public service.

We need to talk about your fixation with Herr Paul Foer.

Ja.

The King provides discourse on political perfidy. And you trash Mr. Foer. The King comments about on the sell out of the city. And you trash Mr. Foer. And now the King discloses Alderman Kirby's plan to send our dogs to war. And you still trash Mr. Foer.

You are clearly sick.

It is clearly a case of projection. Just because Mr. Foer compares Hitler to County Exec Leopold. Or hates African Americans. Or represents Landmark Communications in hate filled emails to others.

It is all really your problem.

So welcome to my virtual psychotherapy session. Costing you nothing. Yet.

It's your turn to talk it out. So close your eyes. Pretend you are in meine office, group therapy, and telling us all about your childhood traumas.

That involve Mr. Paul Foer.

The Shrink of George

Dogs for Afganistan

2010-08-06T16:10:00.010-04:00

Fellow Historics:

Word has reached the King's ears today that has him most perturbed.

It appears Aldermen Kenneth A. Kirby is floating a trial balloon. He is suggesting that another indignity be foisted on the suffering residents of the Historic Core. And this one is targeted upon the most vulnerable amongst us: our pets.

You see, Alderman Kirby's bleeding heart has made him aware of something. That US servicemen and women are being put in harm's way. While the rest of us languish in luxury back here in the states.

His solution to this problem is to draft the dogs of Annapolis. But not just any dogs. The dogs of Ward One.

"Why" he explained "should the young people of our nation risk their life and limb when the spoiled and pampered pets of the Ward Oners get a deferment?" He envisions the dogs of Ward One sniffing out car bombs, staffing check points and running needed supplies and ammo through Taliban controlled territory.

And, he stated, if you don't want to volunteer your dog then it will be drafted.

Of course, Alderman Kirby, dream on. The elite of the Core will simply buy up the mongrels of Wards 2 through 8 and send them over in dear Fido's place. Like we did during the War of Northern Aggression when we paid others to fight for us.

The dogs of Ward One shall remain pampered and well tended to.

Now, as far as the cats of the Core are concerned...

King of George

Elliott Out: City's Future Uncertain

2010-08-02T18:01:00.004-04:00

Dearest Friends:

Shocking news in the Ancient Citte. M. Elliott has been ousted.

Long know for public service and contributions to the citte in so many ways, the ouster will have a profound impact. In fact, it is not at all clear that the citte can sustain another body blow of this nature.

Diane Elliott served on the Recreation Advisory Board and was well known to all. She oversaw the opening of the Roger 'Pip' Moyer Center and the growth in many rec programs cherished by all Annapolitans. Her resignation was announced over the weekend.

In a related item, her husband Tim has also resigned as the citte's Finance Director. A replacement is expected to be quickly named with no interruption to city business.

King of George

Wingnuts Invade City Hall. Again.

2010-08-01T20:33:00.017-04:00

Fellow Historics:

Last Thursday night all the usual suspects were out. Crazy as ever.

Of course the King likes a few court jesters. It lubricates the proceedings and makes clear to all that, yes indeed, the Ancient Citte is a weird and wonderful place.

So over the bridge from Eatsport and beyond they came. Led by former delegate & perpetual candidate Herb McMillian and treacherous Trudy McFall. Beyond city government, environmental programs and finances in general. They know 'fiscal responsibility' .

Yes, of course.

So let's review their own curriculum vitae.

Mr. McMillian turns out to be the one rumored to have 'fiscal responsibility' in spreading $12,000 around the African American community. One wonders if Republican campaign contributors really know how their monies are being spent. Unfortunately for Mr. McMillian, the person spreading the rumor is the the person on the other end of his phone call. So not much deny ability there.

One wonders if the local Republican ranks have been so decimated that there is no one left to act as bag man. Our own version of disgraced former Illinois Governor Rod R. Blagojevich. Spreading the cash around personally. With no insulation from prosecutors or others who might not want potential elected officials performing payoffs.

Bully for Mr. McMillian!

The other person of 'fiscal responsibility' is treacherous Trudy McFall. Yes, the same Trudy McFall who The Washington Post Reported a few years back spiffed over $300,000 in public monies to a friend. While she was issuing public housing bonds for the State of Maryland. With our monies. [Goto Washingtonpost.com].

Of course dear Trudy took monies from out of state for her run for mayor and then spread money around town like a drunken St. Johnnie in a sad attempt to try to curry favor. [Mr. McMillian - learning anything?] And, while chair of HACA, they failed the HUD inspection. Especially the financial components. And she was forced to resign.

Whew!

Seems like the crew to take advice on 'fiscal responsibility' from.

King of George

KOG EDITORIAL: Follow My Lead

2010-07-30T10:20:00.005-04:00

Dearest Friends:

Citizen Ellen Moyer has just distributed an letter calling for 'One Annapolis'. A nice thought Ellen, but we must face a cold hard fact: there will never be 'One Annapolis' as long as there are other people besides myself.

This is a difficult time. There is a rift - a deep and enduring wound - among the people of this once great citte.

Yet I believe change is possible.

This road toward reconciliation will be long and difficult. The entire population of Annapolis cannot see eye-to-eye on the key issues. And that is what tears us asunder.

There are truly two Annapolis. I am the only person alive who is truly able to see things from my point of view. Thus, we have a long way to go before our beloved city becomes a place of Kings.

There are some who say I am not reflecting the best of what we have in Annapolis. I love Annapolis and cherish our unique way of life in the Ancient Citte. I have always believed there is room in Annapolis for everyone to think and act the same way I do. Every man, woman and child is free to be just like me.

One day, people will realize that fostering a citte view identical to my own is the most sensible course of action.

In the meantime, there are a terrifying number of opinions out there that are not mine. Many of them are held by people I haven't even met. Even more alarming, I would estimate that, on average, non-King Annapolitans probably share my specific perspective on fewer than 5 out of 10 issues.

For example, I have spoken to many who disagree that I be exempt from citte parking regulations. This is the height of narcissism. If they put themselves in my shoes for 3 seconds, then they would appreciate the value to privatizing a parking space directly in front of my home on King George Street. That would be reserved for my exclusive use 24/7.

But, alas, people are unable - or unwilling - to put aside their selfish motives and defer to mine.

There are 36,000 people in this citte who are not me. But deep down we all want the same things: the bridge the gaps that divide us and to live in peace and harmony.

It can happen. It's going to take some major concessions from everyone who isn't me. It is going to take everyone coming together and doing exactly what I want and when I want it.

Only then can we achieve Citizen Moyer's dream of 'One Annapolis'.

King of George

Josh's Kids vs. The Veteran

2010-07-23T16:35:00.027-04:00

Fellow Historics:

As horse races go, it won't be a great one.

And the course, through County Council District Six, looks nothing like dear Epsom. With its frolicking horses near the village centre.

My favorite track.

Nevertheless, the race between Mayor Cohen's hand selected candidate Chris Trumbauer and the grizzled veteran Chuck Ferrar will certainly provide a modicum of entertainment. Through what appears to be a pretty hot & boring primary season.

Mr. Trumbauer was the Mayor's treasurer and is reputed to be an enviro. Little is know to have been actually accomplished by him in cleaning the Bay. Or anything else for that matter. But he looks the part.

Politics is 98% theatre, n'est-ce pas?

Backed by the duct-taped remains of Josh's campaign, including Kathy 'never lost a race until Zina' Nieberding and the young Mayor himself, Mr. Trumbauer's color glossies have already begun to hit mail boxes across the Historic Core.

So we expect a well worn play book to be repeated. Including voter ID, constant GOTV calls, timid door-to-door and yard sign deadlines.

Yawn.

Meanwhile Mayor Cohen has already tried some clumsy arm twisting on some of the Aldermen. Threatening, cajoling and trying to cut deals.

Hint to the Mayor: don't threaten someone unless you actually have the power to back it up.

In Lane Two, Mr. Ferrar is probably best known for being a purveyor of fine fermented and distilled spirits on Bay Ridge (or there abouts). He has street savvy that might do him well on the Council.

Mr. Ferrar already has lined up a diverse array of political supporters from Valerie Miller on the right to Michelle La Farge, Zina's Campaign Manager, on the left. In particular, African Americans are supportive of Mr. Ferrar. Including Zina Pierre herself and Carl Snowden.

In the middle somewhere is Citizen Moyer and her cohort of loyalists. Enraged by the sell out of environmental programs by young Mayor Cohen and the reputed enviro-hypocrisy of Mr. Trumbauer, they are quietly working for Mr. Ferrar. It does boggle one's mind: Miller, Moyer and Lafarge working for the same candidate.

Yet the young Mayor must surely know who is really on the ballot: he is.

By so actively supporting one candidate, Mayor Cohen has brought his own skin into the contest. This comes on the heels of the Mayor's perplexing very early public endorsement of Judd Legum for the House of Delegates. Before the primary, before the filing deadline. And before Mike Busch announced for re-election.

Now, by his own hand, he will further weaken himself, his Administration and Annapolis Democrats if Mr. Trumbauer loses.

Too bad. We would have wanted to blame another one on disgraced CAO Doug Smith.

Maybe next time.

King of George

Zina Speaks

2010-07-22T09:49:00.014-04:00

Dearest Friends:

The king always has fear of Second Acts. Especially in politics.

Remember that dastard Corsican? First, we put him on Elbe. Then he escaped and raised a ruckus on the Continent. Finally, our dear cousin the Duke of Wellington had to put him down at Waterloo and he spent the rest of his years on St. Helena.

Egads! An awful lot of work to keep republicanism at bay.

Thus the first public uttering since the election from Ms. Zina Pierre have brought some appropriate attention from inside pol watchers in the Ancient Citte. She spoke at a GOTV rally for Chuck Ferrar, heir apparent to Josh Cohen on the County Council.

What she said couldn't be more telling.

You see she spoke of the disappointment in 'elected officials who don't keep their promises'. We wonder who that could be? And 'we will not be fooled again'.

Really!

Of course, Ms. Pierre soundly trounced Mayor Cohen in the primaries only to succumb to the attacks of hate bloggers and a newspaper only interested in their own community busting agenda (that they actually believe sells more papers). And then Mayor Cohen was selected, not elected, to replace her.

So, one wonders, on whom were these comments focused?

Mayor Cohen with Alderman Kirby (background)

Perfoming Lifeguard Duties at Harbor House Pool This Week

Also, this event was the political coming out party for Citizen Moyer. Fresh from her letter mailings across the citte. Acknowledged and warmly received by all, methinks she was encouraged to speak up more often and expand her activities.

Let us hope that we, the elite of the Historic Core, will not have to exile Ms. Pierre and Citizen Moyer to Poplar Island far in the middle of the Bay.

Otherwise they might win another election or two.

King of George

Weekend Update

2010-07-17T08:47:00.046-04:00

Dear Readers:

It's the doldrums of the summer in the Ancient Citte. Yet the citte seems anything but dull.

Yes, the news seems to keep coming. In spite of the King's efforts to drown it out by humming "Rule Britannia" constantly.

So, in a rare effort at public service, the King will provide an update and new news as it reaches his ears. Irregardless of his humming of his favorite music from the British imperial era:

==
Liar, Liar Pantaloons on Fire and Stanton Centre to be Privatized - The King has found that the effort to privatize the Stanton Centre did in fact originate with disgraced former CAO Doug Smith. In cahoots with Boys and Girls Club honcho Reggie Brody. Seems they have concocted a scheme to take over recreational activities at the Stanton Centre.

What is most surprising is that Mayor Cohen does not agree with their nefarious plan but, apparently, will not shut it down.

We also understand what Herr Smith has been telling the Mayor does not jibe with what he is telling others. He wants to kick the not-for-profits operating in the Centre out, telling the Director of one he has been cut off from City support of any kind.

His all mighty nefariousness at work!

All Herr Smith's noise probably does not make much difference anyway. Two members of the Council have privately announced their intention to go to war if the proposal goes any further.

==
Red, White and Green - After our post, senior Republicans have now threatened to cut off all monies flowing to one African American leader. And nobody's happy about that.

Sorry guys.

==
Alderman Paone Loses All Self Control - After Monday night's outburst, other members of the City Council are saying -- so what? As one member said, Ald. Furious Fred "always has someone to pick on at every meeting. So what's the big deal?"

Ho, hum. Nothing to see here. Another Republican meltdown.

Next appearence: a court room near you.

==
Where's Waldo - In keeping with the transformation of City Hall into the Fuhrer bunker, apparently the Cohen Administration has killed all flowers and has decided weeds to be the new city flora. Flower pots in front of City Hall are still dead and, right before the 4th, one city worker had had enough. She went out and pulled weeds around City Hall on her lunch hour.

She obviously hadn't gotten the memo. Weeds can be so beautiful.

==
Tragedy Strikes City Official - After the naming of Mr. Mallinoff as City Manager he has prudently submerged. To test depth we understand. Yet he is operating at 30 knots, albeit currently at R&R on China Beach.

Standby for Torpex.

=====================

Many of you still maintain an interest in this stuff regardless of the heat index. I'm so sorry for you.

I suggest a cold shower.

King of George

Moyer Establishes Beachhead

2010-07-15T10:14:00.010-04:00

Dearest Friends:

The long awaited amphibious assault by the crack Ellen Moyer Division has begun. See the scans above.

By her own hand these letters have begun to surface in mailboxes of Democratic activists and friends across the Ancient Citte. Facts that no one but the former Mayor could bring up.

The Capital, Eastporters and hate bloggers beware. Facts do prove out. Even Alderman Arnett now admits that there was no crisis and it was all made up (a.k.a. by non-politicians -- a lie).

Yet the King could not really care less who did what to whom and why. It's mid July. Aren't we allowed to have a little respite during our summer doldrums? We really don't need any more literary fisticuffs.

I'll wait for the movie version.

King of George

Liar, Liar Pantaloons on Fire

2010-07-14T11:41:00.034-04:00

Dear Friends:

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a small state of confusion from time to time. It reduces friction and gets us out of sticky situations.

Like the time I was held up by banditos in the Pampas. Suddenly I was a poor campesino. Yet even that didn't work out too well. Maybe it was my Andalusian accent. Or my Gucci loafers. ¿Quién sabe?

As reported here (Stanton Centre to be Privatized, July 12) there are confused stories circulating about changes a foot. So much so that they reached the ears of El Jefe Cohen yesterday. Seems more than one Alderman wants to know what he knows.

Apparently, the Mayor knows little or nothing about it. Mentioned some diffuse meeting to take place at the end of the month involving the Boys and Girls Club.

The problem for the young Mayor is that former Mayor Ellen Moyer says he called her in March. Subject: Sale of the Stanton Centre. Need to jettison city assets. Sell, baby sell!

And Citizen Moyer says she counseled 'no deal'.

Spoil sport!

So the young Mayor seems to have had full knowledge of the prospect then. Which he seems to now have forgotten?

Yet again, an issue re-emerges from beyond the grave. Perhaps being circulated behind the back of the Mayor by disgraced former CAO Doug Smith?

You see Herr Smith has been overheard complaining about the size of his new office. And the basketball court at the Stanton Centre would make a fine environment from which to read proclamations and threaten the jobs of remaining city workers. Draped in purple and secured by Swiss Guards with pikes it could be very regal throne for the Prince.

Of course, someone should radio the news to all concerned that we, the elite of the Historic Core, have already decided.

And we are the deciders.

Club Stanton is in the works. Cigar rooms, brandies, fine art and gastronomie fantastique!

This property's highest and best use.

King of George

Alderman Paone Loses All Self Control

2010-07-13T09:27:00.028-04:00

Fellow Historics:

The King is a passionate man. When dear cousin Marie, wife of Louis, lost her head to the French mob in 1793, I was quite perturbed. Being young and imprudent, I actually yelled at my coach driver. Then took the lash to the scoundrel.

An appropriate next step.

So I completely understand when, after factual comments of Alderman Kirby on the final CCRABL committee report, Alderman Paone lost all composure last night. Demanded from the Mayor that Ald. Kirby be cut off. And acted generally immature. "Mr. Mayor! This is totally inappropriate!" he shouted.

I agree. Transparency and public knowledge of committee reports is so passe.

Pouring salt into the wound, Ald. Kirby mentioned the controversial 7-11 on West Street. He told dear Ald. Paone that some of his constituents would support the facility. Seems folks on Clay and Washington Streets would like to buy basic food at less than usury prices. Like bread, milk and soda.

Kind of like those of us in the Historic Core who demand a gourmand's establishment to purvey croissants, Camembert and fine French truffles.

Again, dear Ald. Fred lost it. Yelling at Ald. Kirby that he "didn't need him to tell him about his ward."

In his day job as a State's Attorney prosecutor he is often charged with prosecuting those from Ald. Kirby's own ward. Thus he needs to resort to unrestrained speech and emotion to make a point, get his way and convict. It is in his blood, his training, his penchant.

Makes one contemplate what goes on beyond the blind walls of justice at the courthouse. So watch out juries of Anne Arundel County. Furious Fred is on the war path!

Of course Alderman Paone is correct. He has a right to verbally pummel those of different wards, views and backgrounds who do not agree with him.

Damn it! He is an elected official and a State's Attorney prosecutor.

And the lash is not far behind.

King of George

Stanton Centre to be Privatized

2010-07-12T18:08:00.024-04:00

The Reprised Stanton Centre - Après Privée

Dearest Friends:

The King has heard most excellent news today. The Stanton Centre is to be privatized.

Yes, the venerable Stanton Centre, named after that unruly Secretary of War Edwin Stanton, is to become private. A place that will exclude all of those who do not belong. A place for us, the elite of the Historic Core.

Bully I say!

It's about time that we have a truly private exclusive club for us within walking distance the Core. Where we can enjoy a fine glass of 1952 Oporto. Or partake in fine art and sample exquisite cuisine from the table d'hôte.

Just like I do when I am at the Lotos Club in Gotham.

It's unclear who would come up with such a fine plan. Methinks, perhaps, disgraced former CAO Doug Smith? If so, then young Mayor Cohen should be congratulated for listening to the wise counsel of his former colleague.

This could be enough to let Herr Smith back into our good graces.

Or at least our parlours.

King of George

Red, White and Green

2010-07-04T11:59:00.012-04:00

Fellow Historics:

What could be more American than money and politics?

Courtesy of my trust funds, I never have to worry about cash. My trustees make sure I am disbursed the appropriate amount to fund my consumption. Polo ponies and jet fuel included. Although I never use my monies for crass political purposes.

Others may not be so fortunate. A noted Republican and former State elected official is offering to spread money around. $12,000 in fact. Offered to leaders of the African American community. To help 'get out the vote' for Republicans in the fall.

Of course, Republicans have no intention to 'get out the vote' from African American precincts. They know what would happen if they actually did this: they would lose.

But they have every intention to suppress the Democrat's votes from African American precincts this fall. In other words, they pay for you to do nothing. Sit on your hands and not to vote. Along with your friends and family.

This may be a very good tactic for them. Mike Busch won D-30 in 2006 by 500 votes. Cutting back Democrat turnout in Wards 2,3,4 and 6 by 10% would be enough to do him in.

The Republicans have spreadsheets. And they know this.

Of course, dear Team Thirty has other issues as well. The lack of a whacked out right wing candidate to drain 2,000 votes off the Republican base, the Moyer machine mothballed, Cohen's lack of organization and horrible political decision making, lack of an African American on the ballot, the general disgust of Zina Pierre followers with the process, the diaspora in public housing that has created huge under registrations, a newspaper that has become openly supportive of all things Republican and a general anti-incumbent attitude. To name a few.

Whew!

So what is a mere $12,000 dropped into the middle of this political miasma? Enough to turn the tide?

God Bless America!

What cannot be earned can sometimes be bought.

King of George

Where's Waldo?

2010-07-01T10:00:00.021-04:00

Dear Citizens:

It's almost the long 4th weekend and... time for an amusing game of the Ancient Citte!

Which window pictured above belongs to Mayor Josh Cohen?

Yes, it appears the Furher Bunker is back. Albeit awash in Aubrey Bodine photos from The Annapolis Gallery. Paranoia still stalks the halls of the hall. At least in one person's mind.

And today is moving day. Former CAO Doug Smith is moving on and out of his office. Herr Smith was noted clutching his personal effects in a card board box as space was being made for Mr. Mallinoff's ascension to the throne. Too bad he wasn't given 5 minutes to move out like he gave the 33 public servants he fired.

And, other news continues to percolate. You see the infamous contracted pay-for-silence program has ended (see: Silence Can Be Golden, April 5th). Unafraid of having Herr Smith's contracted cash cut off, former senior city employees are now turning up spilling the beans.

And these beans could turn out to be quite dirty.

The King must remain mum at the moment. But re-read earlier posts. It's all already out there.

Happy Indepenednce Day to you ruffians. Although, as a loyalist, I won't be celebrating. God save the Queen.

And the King too.

King of George

Tragedy Strikes City Official

2010-06-24T10:34:00.008-04:00

Mayor Cohen delivering the bad news to Mr. Mallinoff.

Dearest Readers:

The King has sad news to report. Tragedy has struck a noted city official.

This afternoon Mayor Cohen announced that Michael D. (a.k.a. Mad Dog) Mallinoff is to be the next CAO / City Manager.

This will surely mean the end of his peaceful well lived professional life. A thankless position in the best of times, Mr. Mallinoff will now have a life expectancy of 23 days 7 hours and 47 minutes.

Mr. Mallinoff in happier times.

Donations in lieu of flowers will be accepted at the Home for Dispossessed City Officials, Mayor's Office, 160 Duke of Gloucester Street, Annapolis, MD 21401.

God rest his soul!

King of George

New CAO To Be Named Tomorrow

2010-06-23T17:22:00.047-04:00

Fellow Travelers:

Tomorrow afternoon, ta-da, the new CAO is to be named at a press conference in City Hall by Mayor Josh Cohen.

The King knows who it is, but has been sworn to secrecy. Nevertheless, that has never meant anything to him.

After all, he is the King.

So here are some names to consider. You narrow down the list:

Former CAO Bob Agee - Brought back from retirement, good old Bob could fill the shoes any day. After all, he has more experience than anyone in government with the Markethouse, the APD Headquarters and the city budget. That should certainly get him the job.

Former Alderman Julie Stankivic - Yes, the Ancient Citte's theatre of the absurd would do well with the Egyptian Queen at centre stage again. With a new lease on political life, she could chase honking taxis around town and give away city services to the county. Just like she always wanted to.

Present CAO Doug Smith - Herr Smith isn't leaving his office, damn it. He will work for free if he has to. And he most definitely will have to. Meet the new CAO, same as the old CAO.

Blogger Paul Foer - Self anointed transportation expert, Mr. Foer has never met a government service he liked. So why settle for him destroying just the Transportation Department? He could trash the entire house of cards. And then tell us why it was everyone else's fault in his blog.

Former Insider & Swabbie Dale Maddox - Ellen Moyer's confidant, power broker and man about town, Mr. Maddox has repeatedly stated he "could do a better job than all those clowns combined". One thing is for sure, Cranky Dale would give Alderman Arnett a run for his money in the 'should not be in government' category.

There are other worthy candidates, to be sure. But remember, the quality we need the most from our new CAO:

Entertainment.

King of George

(Fill In This Blank) !!!!!

2010-06-23T08:25:00.017-04:00

Fellow Historics:

It's been going on for millennia. Damn it!

The sun heats the frothy Atlantic waters south of Bermuda and north of the Caribbean Basin. This, in turn, creates a huge hot and humid air mass.

Which expands. And, in the process of expanding, air molecules move.

Due to the force discovered in 1835 by Gaspard-Gustave Coriolis, a free body in motion in the northern hemisphere bends to the right. Thus a gigantic clockwise flow of hot and humid air is created that ducts this air right over Annapolis. All summer long. Until the Atlantic cools in the late summer.

Human life in the Ancient Citte tends to retrograde during this period. People move to Maine. Or sit on their boats and cuss. Or try to relieve pain in the gin joints of Eastport. And all our local controversies and hatreds have been put on hold for a while.

Even young Mayor Cohen escaped to Chincoteague Island with his daughters last weekend. Hoping to find relief amongst the frolicking ponies.

So. Not much to report here.

The best the King could come up with is:

Chuck Walsh to direct economic development!!! Yes, its true dear readers. Uber mensch yet enemy-to-all Chuck Walsh is to be named the Director of Economic Development. Of Sorts. Famous for litigating FCC issues in the '90s, zzzzzzz.....

CCRABL report to endorse 2 am licenses!!! Yes, dear readers, the vaunted CCRABL Committee, run as virtual slave state to the interests of Ward One, will endorse 2 am licenses. In another 3 weeks. zzzzzzz.....

Alderman to save children from drowning!!! Yes, friends, Alderman Kenneth A. Kirby has been promoted to a much higher station: life guard at the the Harbor House pool. This position, which actually requires skills and certifications while paying more than being Alderman, will test him in a way Alderman has not. zzzzzz....

Oh my.

Maybe The Capital can do a better job than I. They are good in the fact creation department. Or bring Mr. Foer on stage. He has left his integrity by the door. A long time ago.

Yes, summer is here.

Ho hum.

King of George

Moyer to Fire First Shot

2010-06-21T12:32:00.010-04:00

Dear Hearts:

The long awaited Royale Rumble is finally set to begin. Or, more accurately, the first shots are soon to be fired.

You see, Citizen Moyer doesn't like it. Doesn't like it one bit. And she is sharpening her pen.

The gutting of environmental programs. Dis-information on the budget. Mangling of transportation programs.

So she is preparing the first shot, a broadside to The Capital.

Unfortunately for her, it's not clear they will even print it. You see, it does not fit with their story line. When writing fiction, facts become so pesky.

And, of course, we are entering the summer doldrums. When the air is stagnant and its 100 degrees it's hard to stir enthusiasm for anything in the Historic Core other than a cold shower.

God speed Ellen. You'll need it.

King of George

It's Annapolis: No Trials Necessary!

2010-06-20T17:20:00.021-04:00

Dearest Historics:

We all love a good crime drama. Poe's The Purloined Letter comes to mind. So the speculation in the Ancient Citte is rife. Who got the goods?

It really wasn't much of a heist as heists go. $150,000 mainly in non-negotiable checks and only $4,000 in cash. Not enough for a good party in Baden Baden. The G-5 leases out at $25,000 an hour. Couldn't get to Europa on that amount.

Nevertheless, I suppose it is really the sport of it all. So, with the Bermuda high in full clockwise flow and summer swelter in bloom, it would be good to reprise the betting on the culprit.

Most acknowledge it was an inside job. Someone with at least a passing understanding of the processes and procedures at City Hall. So, barring contractors or other outsiders working in the Finance space, the King would place bets on three individuals:

CAO Doug Smith. Yes, Herr Smith has a track record of strange pecuniary occurrences surrounding him. Budgets that were in balance that are suddenly not. Including, most recently, the odd case of his purported burglary (see: Levitating Burglar to Return?, April 16). Some in APD still doubt the veracity of his tale surrounding these events.

Finance Director Tim Elliot. Mr. Elliot has been around City Hall a long time. He has been a cohort of Herr Smith in distorting the realities of the budget. He certainly has the access required to get into the safe. Plus his rumoured gambling gives him a purported motive (see: Of Money, Epsom and Annapolis, April 3).

The City Council. This is an especially suspicious group. Some of them are always ready to embrace wacked out financial schemes involving the tax payer's monies. It's possible any one of them did it. After all, they only get paid $12,000 a year.

Chief Pristoop says they have some suspects but will not name them. Too bad, we have never needed trials in Annapolis.

They just slow down the fun.

King of George

Eastport Water Supply Contaminated!

2010-06-15T16:08:00.008-04:00

Concerned Citizens:

It is the King's duty, nay burden, to report risks to our public health.

Something is in the water in Eastport. It has now shown up in parts of Ward One. And a few people in Admiral Heights have early symptoms.

Unfocused thinking. Inability to add and subtract. Hyper-emotional mood swings. Unable to tell the difference between fantasy and reality. Anger management issues.

Yes, Eastport has it bad. It first started when we were told to 'stop the gunfire'. Then it spread from Miami and Boucher to Burnside and Chesapeake. It has now gotten worse. Much worse.

Public meetings disrupted. Incoherent rantings spewed. Hate filled speech everywhere. Self inflated egos running amuck.

It must be in the water supply. Contaminated by some nut cases wanting to have a Tea Party.

So clear thinkers of Annapolis -- stay away from the water supply in Eastport!

King of George

We All Live in Fear

2010-06-14T20:12:00.011-04:00

Fellow Historics:

Yes, the King abhors violence.

There was Uncle Louie, Grandpa Charles and Cousin Peter. All who lost their heads to the mob.

Therefore he supports Alderman Kirby's attempts to stem the swell of violence in the citte. See the above scan. Circulated in neighborhoods today.

You see, there has been a spate of violence of late. And, with the police cut backs, we're not sure there is adequate APD protection.

Two years ago, with the police force reeling from having six more officers than it has today, APD was unable to check the force of the criminals as they surged through our community. In Eastport they said they 'live in fear'. In Ward One, even Herr Smith was a purported victim. Burgled mid air (see: Levitating Burgler to Return? April 16).

So, with 6 less officers than at the height of the crime spree two years ago, we are certainly in for a long hot summer.

Eastporters who 'live in fear' are presumably enroute Montana.

Or so we hope.

King of George

King of George Sells Out

2010-06-08T21:49:00.009-04:00

Dearest Friends:

"War is a continuation of diplomacy using other means." Carl von Clausewitz, Über den Krieg

"And politics is a continuation of commerce using other means." King of George

Yes, the King can be bought.

Exactly two weeks ago the King was approached by an elected official. This blog was ruffling feathers. Giving people the hot seat. Making them uncomfortable. And right before the big budget vote.

So the King was approached. Would he consider a two week hiatus? Leave us alone? Back off?

Why, yes! The King is always open for business.

In return, the King got something he really, really wanted. Non-pecuniary. But very important to the King nonetheless.

So a deal was struck, the budget was passed and 14 days of peace was granted by the King. In his beneficence.

But now the egg timer has sounded. And the King has returned. Just a little bit better off.

King of George

R's & D's Avoid Patriotic Armageddon

2010-05-31T16:33:00.011-04:00

Dear Readers:

Well, we avoided the train wreck of out-of-control politicians. Or maybe it is just on hold for 30 days.

First to blink were the Annapolis Democratic Central Committee and the D-30 Club, who quickly retreated when two prominent Democrats and war veterans complained about their planned 'counter march'. Apparently the organizers of said march never asked for approval of their own Committee, whose Chairman was in Europe on vacation and whose Vice Chair position is unfilled.

Coup masters after my own heart, those Dems!

Then the Republicans heard some back lash from outside their own ranks, reduced the size of their campaign contingent that was scheduled to march. And placed Erhlich campaigners near the reviewing stand in the crowd to crow for their candidate. They got their hyper-patriotism done, albeit more subtly.

Whew!

Never fear, in a month will be the normally heavily politicized 4th of July Parade. No doubt everyone but the Chinese Communist Party will be there wrapping themselves in our flag and professing everylasting faith in American liberties.

Like your right to make an ass of yourself.

King of George

Republicans and Democrats Attack America

2010-05-29T10:00:00.015-04:00

Loyal Friends:

It's a little known fact that the King is a veteran. In some cases, of the wrong side. Like when the regiment I commanded burned Washington in the War of 1812.

He is sensitive to the need, nay necessity, of honoring and remembering our war dead.

So the confirmed plan of the Republican Central Committee to march with former Governor and freshly pressed candidate Robert Ehrlich as a political campaign event in Annapolis' Memorial Day Parade has me aghast. Don't the Republicans engage in enough flag waving and hip-hip-hooraying to out prove to everyone that they are hyper-patriots?

They do not have to bring their small minded political campaigns to the only public remembrance of our war dead.

Not to be outdone in the small minded category, Annapolis' Democrats are now planning to counter march. So now we will have both major political parties carrying a political message on a day that, should be, off limits to them.

Is it because both groups are primarily made up of people who are have never served in the armed forces and know no one who fought and died for their country? Word has it that combat and other veterans associated with both parties are livid with the sacrilege of Mr. Ehrlich and the Annapolis Democrats.

In prior years, Karen Engelke, former Mayor Ellen Moyer's special events coordinator who lost her naval aviator husband to combat in Vietnam, cajoled and obfuscated. And didn't make friends with everyone. But kept political groups out of the Memorial Day event and put them in the July 4th Parade.

Mayor Cohen: show some leadership.

Keep politics out of our day of remembrance.

King of George

Smith's Coup or Two

2010-05-28T09:34:00.023-04:00

Dear Friends:

The King has always enjoyed a good coup or two. Especially when our side wins and your side loses. Such as the end of that Chilean dastard Allende or the overthrow of Greek President Georgios Papadopoulos in '73.

So I have continued to follow with great interest CAO Doug Smith's continuing circumvention of the laws and City Council.

If yesterday's Capital newspaper editorial is to be believed, then Herr Smith's effort to suppress the democratic process remains at full tilt. The editors report that Herr Smith is 'considering cutting', 'raising fares' and 'ending' contractual obligations of the citte (read: lawsuits are a comin'). He also wants to install Pay and Display parking machines across the citte. How these could get paid for at ~$10,000 a pop he does not say.

Maybe he'll sell us some magic beans.

The Capital also doesn't understand there isn't a public transit system in the world that makes money. And Annapolis' does better than most, with city taxpayers picking up only around 20-30% of the operating costs, depending on the route. If you drive a car in the citte, government subsidies pay much more of the road costs. Like 100%.

(The Capital, proving yet again they never met a fact they could not twist, also erroneously reported in the same piece about parking meters "whose revenue sustains the transit system". Oops, wrong again boys. Parking meter monies go into the general fund.)

Although it is a new discovery to The Capital, these ideas of Herr Smith have been around for ages. Some go back to ancient times before the Ward One Sector Study. That Herr Smith has repackaged them and sold them to The Capital is a jolly good farce!

Of course, Herr Smith has no power to do any of this. A fact The Capital editors only obliquely reference. Only the Council can take these actions. The question is: how much longer will Council members allow their authority to be diminished?

His management circumventions have become even clearer as some of the pay-for-silence consulting arrangements have begun to end. These are the payments made to some senior city officials who were let go but had agreed to 'consulting' payments being made to them for up to 4 months. For doing no consulting. (see: Silence Can Be Golden, 5 April)

So the cone of silence has begun to lift. It turns out Herr Smith cannot hold his temper in check, say some of these city people. Threatening one 'don't make me mad' and treating others in demeaning and rude ways. He has even back doored the Mayor, turning off a second chance program for offenders that Mayor Cohen campaigned on.

We understand all of this. Coups are never pretty. But they are necessary if we are to re-establish our rule-by-elite in the citte.

Bully for you Herr Smith. Your time is almost done.

But the damage you've done will keep on giving.

King of George

Arnett Bags Bums

2010-05-27T16:22:00.015-04:00

Dear Hearts:

We all know why our citte government exists: to serve us, the elite of the Historic Core.

When citte Public Works Department workers are seen replacing the sidewalk of a private individual on private property during working hours, we know the world is as it should be. Even if, under the severe direction of CAO Doug Smith, the Public Works Department is rudderless and has been provided with no leadership whatsoever.

So why, must I ask, did Alderman Arnett feel the compulsion to turn them in?

Yes, apparently the killjoy Alderman from Eastport felt a strange need to nab the city workers. Just out doing a favor for a friend. During regular working hours. Using city tools.

And so what if it wasn't even in Ward One?

Alderman Arnett: if you expect this is the way to ingratiate yourself into the salons of the Historic Core, then it won't work. We enjoy using city employees as our personal labor force.

After all, we've been doing it for over 300 years now.

King of George

Israel's Coup

2010-05-27T14:47:00.005-04:00

Fellow Elite:

Excellent news. Our coup is about to occur.

Young Mayor Cohen has made the eggregious error of putting us in charge. Alderman Dick Israel in charge to be exact. As Acting Mayor in his absence. See scan above.

The die is struck. This will be a Memorial Day to memorialize.

HPC officials wandering throughout Annapolis, shutting down plastic and fakery. WORA complaining about bars and noise in Eastport. And parking problems throughout.

I say Bully! It's about time the rest of citte in the outer wards suffer along with us.

Thank you Josh. We knew there was some reason we voted for you.

King of George

Lies, Damned Lies and Accounting

2010-05-23T19:45:00.045-04:00

Confounded Friends:

Oh dear.

Just when I thought our fabricated financial confusion was begining to stick. Along comes a damnable accountant.

We're found out.

It seems the City Council, last year before our current financial 'crisis', decided to hire an outside accountant to analyze the City's books. To finally get to the bottom of Moyer's City finances. Aldermen Arnett and Israel's idea we were told.

Be careful what you ask for, because now you got it boys.

In this case the news, delivered to Finance Committee Chair Classie Hoyle by Council Auditor Robert J. Pellicoro, that there is no crisis.

See the email below:

============
From:"RJPellicoro@aol.com"
To:classiehoyle@yahoo.com
Sent:Tue, May 18, 2010 8:09:42 AM
Subject:Re: Fw: Annapolis finances

Classie,

The term "deficit" is not appropriate when defining the current fiscal status for the City. The Mayor's Proposed FY 2011 Budget is balanced for each Fund and estimates an $11.2 million combined Fund Balance as at June 30, 2011. This equates to 14% of the combined FY 2011 estimated operating budgets, well above the City Code requirement of 5%.

Excluding the Water and Sewer Funds, even though the Code does not, results in a Mayor's Proposed FY 2011 combined Fund Balance of $4.7 million or 6.9% of the combined FY 2011 estimated operating budgets, again complying with the Code requirement. The Code also states that an additional 5% shall not be expended without the approval of the Finance Committee. To achieve a 10% combined Fund Balance, as early as June 30, 2011, would require a $2.1 million reduction in FY 2011 Proposed expenditures.

The Mayor's Proposed FY 2011 budget for the General Fund assumes $2.4 million savings from salary and benefits concessions from City employees. If no concessions are made, an additional $2.4 million in cuts to FY 2011 budget expenditures would be required. I believe the status of these deliberations are not yet final.

Hence, the City's actions to finalize the FY 2011 Budget would first require reductions to make up any shortfall resulting from concessions of less than the $2,4 million included in the Mayor's Proposed FY 2011 Budgets. Then, the City, which is in compliance with the 5% Code requirement, can adopt a plan to restore the combined Fund balance to 10%, without adhering to the significant reductions in expenditures presently before the Council.

The " old reserve " , which is the combined Fund Balances of the General Fund and the eight Enterprise Funds at some point in time, was $16.3 million as at June 30, 2009. This has declined to a Projected June 30, 2011 balance of $11.2 million. The bulk of the decline, by Fund, are : Transportation Fund - down $1.5 million; General Fund - down $1.8 million; and Water Fund - down $1.3 million.

With regard to credit ratings, a Fund Balance is one of the several factors that are considered in determining ratings.

Bob

============

So there it is. A $2.4 million shortfall - and only if the unions don't fill the gap. And addding to the reserves is not mandatory now. And the City Charter is not being violated.

Damn you CPAs. I hope you are happy.

How will we hide our naked political agenda to shut down city government now?

Young Mayor Cohen will undoubtedly hear of this and, perhaps, take action to back off CAO Doug Smith's firing binge. And Alderman Arnett and his 'expert' minions are shown to have no clothes at all. Not a pretty sight. And Finance Director Tim Elliott may actually have to answer the Council's questions and stop lying to the Mayor. OMG.

Don't panic. Think, damn it, think.

Maybe we still have time to cook up some other crisis. The Capital and Josh Stewart will flog it. Taliban on West Street. Or Martians on City Dock.

Of course. Foer. Get Foer in here! He'll gleefully lie about anything to back stop us.

I beg you. Throw me a bone here or we're all going to get busted.

I hate it when well paid actors don't stay on script.

King of George

King of George Bottom Blog In Area

2010-05-23T18:14:00.016-04:00

Fellow Elite:

Other blogs trumpet their readership. King of George knows better.

It happened sometime last night and we want to brag a little. King of George is likely the bottom blog in the area in terms of traffic and unique visitors.

We achieved this distinction by focusing on us, the elite of the Historic Core. Our concerns are the only things germaine to Annapolis.

Others need not apply.

So, please, if you are not of the elite, leave us. Neither do we like you nor do we see any positive result your readership could possibly produce.

And to our friends who are into their page views and unique visitors, we say bully!

But understand we really don't want these things. They bore us.

And please don't spread it around.

King of George

Slavery Museum Coming to City Dock?

2010-05-23T16:02:00.020-04:00

Fellow Historics:

The King enjoys a reflective look backwards in time. Or attempts to turn back the clock to revise this 'representative democracy' thing. Or even a reactionary proto-revolutionary movement to restore our colonial allegiances to the Royal Hanoverians.

Bully!

So, he was generally supportive when he first heard the scheme for a National Slavery Museum in the Historic Core.

But then -- warnings.

The group is being lead by noted histrionic and defiler of property rights, Mr. Craig Purcell, AIA. The same individual who has come into our streets, gardens and courtyards. Digital camera at port arms. Snapping away at what he has decided to be violations of HPC codes.

Last year he went so far as to turn in Annapolis into the National Trust for Historic Preservation's 11 most endangered places list. And forced many property rights loving Annapolitans to tear out plastic fences and windows. And led the effort against dear Bryan and Valerie Miller's plastic columns.

(Having lost in District Court, they are now at the Appellate Court level. Fight on brave souls. God speed!).

We understand that this Purcellian group has already done some design work and selected a site -- the Donner Building across from the Haley monument. Our contacts have confirmed that a high 7 figure price has actually been agreed to between the group and the property owners.

How this rag tag band of Patapsco swilling ruffians will raise that amount of money is unknown. Perhaps a casino on the site might help.

Unlike the National Sailing Hall of Fame, the project is completely on private property. So the plans won't hit public purvue until permits are requested or for the required HPC review of architectural plans. So it is expected little public knowledge of this effort will be forth coming in the near future.

I am very supportive of recollections of Annapolis' checkered history. Yet, I must strongly object to another attraction to draw visitiors to the Historic Core.

I have become very fond of my afternoon naps. More screaming urchins on King George, Prince George and the other environs of us elite does not sit well with the King.

Edgewater might be a better location. I understand there are people there who would be much more welcoming of such a necessary historical reflection.

King of George

Israel's Markethouse Fix

2010-05-22T10:13:00.016-04:00

Dearest Friends:

Apologies to my correspondents that have missed the King's decrees. Urgent matters in my Greek investment portfolio required an unscheduled trip on the G5 to London. It seems the European debt crisis has caused the value of my Thessalonian olive groves to collapse. So we displaced the current diefthyntís and replaced him with a new manager. Blindly loyal to me.

I won't make money, but I'll feel good.

En route I was heartened to read Alderman Israel's feel good legislation on the Markethouse. Once again, he has boldly stepped to the plate. Like greek olive groves, dear Richard understands the best way to manage an asset is to put in your own pocket.

So, while attention was diverted on the pretty pictures and ideas of the markethouse presentations this week, dear Richard put the fixe in. In the legislation that is.

He is sponsoring legislation that allows for a Markethouse Authority to 'govern' it. What this 'governing' entails is unspecified, so it will undoubtedly allow for large power grabs by the Authority once established. Money, vendors, hours, products and design apparently will all be decided by this junta.

And the Authority will be made of of 7 people, insiders all. Some retailers with a financial conflict of interest, some surely petulant Ward Oners, he has again kept the makeup of the board in the hands of the merchants and elite. Interestingly, the #1 group that visits the market house, out of town visitors, are precluded from membership. A true harbinger of success.

Furthermore, his legislation allows for no oversight or control over the junta. Nor is it clear that this group would have any responsibility to the public at all. No public meetings, no public accounting, no public period.

One participant at the presentations has privately told others that he will withdraw their market house offering if this legislation passes. Meddling and obstruction, our way.

At best, we'll get a barely functioning markethouse run by us, the elite of the Historic Core. At worst, we'll have years of financial and managerial scandals to amuse us.

Dear Richard has never let reality intervene in his make believe world.

Bully!

King of George

A Kiss on the Cheek May be Quite Continental

2010-05-19T08:24:00.046-04:00

Dearest Friends:

Words are so tricky.

"You like potato and I like potahto, You like tomato and I like tomahto. Potato, potahto, Tomato, tomahto."

"Let's call the whole kerfuffle off." - to paraphrase poet-laurets Ira and George Gershwin.

Another Ward One tempest in a thumbnail has hit the King's sensitive ears. This time involving an Alderman and MOM (Mother of the Mayor).

My agents who guard the perimeter of the Historic Core have heard scurrilous reports from outside the walls. Emanating from Monticello. That dear MOM Cohen has been telling neighbors stories that Alderman / Pilot-Bombardier Col. K.A. Kirby called her an "elite thin, crisp biscuit". She is implying he said so at a public meeting of the Murray Hill Residents Association (see: Col. Kirby's Surprise Assault on MHRA, May 13).

Problem is, no one heard him say it. Even those who could not be described as, ummm, delicately put, 'fans' of Col. Kirby never heard the biscuit reference.

MOM Cohen is also saying that the dear Alderman was not invited to her MHRA meeting. Even though they distributed fliers throughout Murray Hill and the Clay Street area to oppose the proposed 7-11 on the corner of Lafayette and West Streets. And the fliers included Alderman Kirby's name and personal phone number.

So it's OK if we bring you to trial in absentia. But please don't show up to defend yourself. It's an Annapolis tradition. Get over it.

Ever the peacemaker, at a restaurant ribbon cutting on Saturday in Murray Hill, Col. Kirby went so far as to plant a kiss on MOM Cohen's rosy cheek. To cement peace and assure an alliance.

One can only observe that not much was set or assured as a result.

Interest in this chain of events has now reached 160 Duke. We're not sure why. It's only another small kerfuffle in the citte.

So what if these small happenings are our oxygen and animate our public lives?

We are an Ancient Citte.

King of George

==============================

Let's Call the Whole Thing Off
Ira & George Gershwin, 1937

Chorus - 1
You say either and I say either, You say neither and I say neither
Either, either Neither, neither, Let's call the whole thing off.

You like potato and I like potahto, You like tomato and I like tomahto
Potato, potahto, Tomato, tomahto, Let's call the whole thing off

But oh, if we call the whole thing off Then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart

So if you like pyjamas and I like pyjahmas, I'll wear pyjamas and give up
pyajahmas
For we know we need each other so we , Better call the whole off off
Let's call the whole thing off.

Chorus - 2
You say laughter and I say larfter, You say after and I say arfter
Laughter, larfter after arfter, Let's call the whole thing off,

You like vanilla and I like vanella, You saspiralla, and I saspirella
Vanilla vanella chocolate strawberry, Let's call the whole thing off

But oh if we call the whole thing of then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart

So if you go for oysters and I go for ersters, I'll order oysters and cancel
the ersters
For we know we need each other so we, Better call the calling off off,
Let's call the whole thing off.

Chorus - 3
I say father, and you say pater, I saw mother and you say mater
Pater, mater Uncle, auntie, let's call the whole thing off.

I like bananas and you like banahnahs, I say Havana and I get Havahnah
Bananas, banahnahs Havana, Havahnah, Go your way, I'll go mine

So if I go for scallops and you go for lobsters, So all right no contest we'll
order lobseter
For we know we need each other so we, Better call the calling off off,
Let's call the whole thing off.

Aldermanic Mud Wrestling

2010-05-17T19:33:00.033-04:00

Fellow Historics:

The King is a big proponent of the physical competition of Mano a Mano sport. Pugilism, Greco Roman wrestling or even the mock combat of jujitsu brings a smile to my face.

So you can imagine my exuberant delight at discovering Mayor Cohen has scheduled a contest unlike any other ever seen in the Ancient Citte: a get together of former Alderman.

Yes, you heard right. Mayor Cohen has scheduled just such a brutal and inhuman event under the transparent guise of a 'Annapolis City Council Reunion'. See the above scan.

We don't believe for a minute that past or present members of City Council actually want to spend more than a nano second socializing with each other. The Hammonds, Taylor, Fox, Stankivic, Moyer, Tolliver, Cordle, Shropshire, Kelly, Carter, Chambers or 'Aussie' Christman?

Give us all a break. Something else is afoot.

Is it Herr Smith's brilliant plan to get us out of debt? A steel cage to be erected at Mears with online bookies setting the odds and taking the action -- with a cut for Tim Elliott? The King believes he knows what really is going on here.

It is just a simple affair: a Royal Tournament - a series of thrilling matches between knights!

Just imagine the tag team of Louise and John Hammond challenging all comers in a Texas last-man-standing death match! Or Ellen Moyer wrestling a bear! Or Josh Cohen himself taking on all fellow Democrats in a fight to the finish!

The opportunities for mirth are almost limitless.

So we plead with the Mayor to open the event to us, the mere mortal citizens of the citte.

After 6 months of this, God knows we need the entertainment.

King of George

Save the Environment. Send Cash.

2010-05-16T12:28:00.023-04:00

Dearest Readers:

As you know, the King enjoys the out of doors as much as the next royal (see: Should the Historic Core Remain Green?, March 13). The fresh aire, the path and and a serene mountain scene helps him with his ennui.

These pleasures must be reserved for the elite.

The King has had some disquiet when Mayor Cohen ran for office. His concern for pedestrian environmental pleasures is well know. Wading in the creeks, frolicking in oyster beds and embracing fellow greens. In fact, his wife is a member of that near-communal group, The Green Party.

Yet, my concern has been poorly placed. Under the guise of the budget 'crisis' engineered by Herr Smith, most city environmental programs have been cut, storm water run off personnel fired and even a city park closed. And there has been no action whatsoever on the City's Wind Farm.

This means one thing: once again, only the elite can enjoy the environment because we will be the only ones who can afford to support private pristine enclaves.

Bully!

What has contributed to the King's glee are all the local environmental organizations and environmentalists that have rolled over. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. They are doing nothing to oppose the largest set back to environmental stewardship in a generation.

OK. Technically, that isn't exactly correct.

During these cutbacks, The Chesapeake Bay Foundation has sent six letters to the King asking for money. While the Maryland League of Conservation Voters has sent two. And the Sierra Club has sent merely one appeal. (Gadzooks. They need to get on the stick.)

These appeals for funds are neither to turn back the citte's cut backs, nor fund lobbying of citte officials nor, worse yet, actually go into the field and improve the environment. They want your cash for legislative actions at the state level and to cover their own overhead.

The citte's own creek conservancies have been noticeably quiet. Even Sierra's local Director, David Prosen, who so loudly spoke against plastic bags, has seemingly come down with laryngitis.

So, thanks environmetal organizations and the good folks that run them. Your concern for the Bay's environment has been shown bare.

It begins and ends at your bank accounts.

King of George

Doug Smith's Next Move

2010-05-15T20:08:00.014-04:00

Dearest Neighbors:

The King has never sullied his hands with work. The trust fund has seen to that.

So I imagine being an employee is hard. Having a boss, listening to all those instructions. And changing jobs has to be doubly hard. Having a new boss, listening to all those new instructions.

City CAO Doug Smith is rumoured to have a solution. For himself at least.

There is now talk in 160 Duke that Herr Smith will be refit and placed into service as Public Works Director.

Adding fuel to the fire are comments from Mayor Cohen at the late April Council meeting. The Mayor said he looked forward to continuing to work with Herr Smith post CAO debacle.

Plus he is a chemical engineer - a requirement of the Public Works Director is to be an engineer.

Some Council members are vexed about another Mayor Cohen maneuver to avoid them. Appointing someone with neither proper qualification nor council support.

Mayor Cohen should be concerned. Herr Smith could do him severe political damage in the salons of Ward One. A place he only got 40% of the vote anyway. Next time his lack-of-plurality might drop to 39%.

But all these political considerations are irrelevant to Herr Smith. He undoubtedly has learned a lot in his short time in government. His problem is solved if he can use his ill gotten information as blackmail to pull off this hat trick.

Meet Doug's new boss, same as Doug's old boss.

King of George

Celebrate Public Service Day

2010-05-14T09:07:00.014-04:00

Dearest City Public Servants:

I am so happy to report from Google Analytics that, as of yesterday, you have become the largest single identifiable group of readers. 25% of all King of George 'page views' now come across the City of Annapolis server. I don't know who you are, but I do know what server you use.

This means that our City Government continues to hear the King as he speaks for the concerns of the elite.

Bully!

Of course, some of you may be pinned down with your flak jacket on. While others of you may be manning the 50 cal. at the top of the ridge doing the shooting (seen Pacific?).

It is so fascinating to watch city government consume itself.

Nevertheless, it is heartening to know the King has become Radio Free Annapolis to all combatants.

King of George

Col. Kirby's Surprise Assault on MHRA

2010-05-13T09:00:00.052-04:00

Fellow Historics:

Last night at Maryland Hall, Colonel Kenneth A. Kirby conducted a surprise air assault on the bastion of the Murray Hill Resident's Association. Reminiscent of the 1942 attack on Tokyo by Colonel Jimmy Doolittle, little physical damage was done but much psychological shock ensued.

We Historics have always used these rump groups to do our political bidding in the citte. This has included endless whining about everything from flower baskets and street cafe's to 2 am licenses and parking. Although few of their members are actual elite of the citte, we do populate most of their ranks with our wannabe friends and servants from Murray Hill.

A 7-11 in the core of historic Singapore.

The case in point this time is the proposal to open a 7-11 store on the the site of the Exxon station at the corner of Lafayette and West Streets.

You see, Alderman Kirby seems to think that more than the MHRA mafiosi should have an input into the proposal. He wants the probable customers of such an establishment to have input as well.

The MHRA member who told him he could not speak because he was not from Ward One did little to ease the tension. Alderman Kirby's family still owns their home in Ward One on Silopanna Road, where his mother spent her last years; Mr. Kirby himself is Chair of the City's Housing and Community Development Committee, tasked to review the needs of various communities across the citte; and he is the new Alternate of the dreaded Mr. Weikel, At Large Member of the Democratic Central Committee. Representing Democrats citte wide.

Not a smart move, MHRA-ettes.

Murray Hill's defensive line broke under this pressure and this gave Mr. Kirby the opening he needed. Apparently for him, it's an issue of institutional class and elitism. Reminding attendees that there are others in Annapolis besides themselves. He added that there needs to be an equal playing field for all business owners. And that he knows about equality. He even reminisced about his days at Maryland Hall when it was Annapolis High School at the end of the desegregation era.

MOM (Mother of the Mayor), who attended last night, was not pleased. Rolling her eyes at the esteemed Alderman. There will be hell to pay in City Hall today.

Ouch!

Ancient Citte class tensions are the highest in recent memory as other changes are afoot as well. There is a seismic shift at HACA as new power alignments replace the decayed structures and strictures of olde. Executive Director Eric Brown has been fired this morning and replaced by former Annapolis Police Chief Joe Johnson on an interim basis. Reports are that Mr. Brown is "mad as hell".

The King shares his angst. It is wrong for the elite to be challenged by the rabble. Even if it is our servants and toady Monticellans from MHRA being challenged.

So I say: to the barricades!

It is time to defend our right to deny you a Slurpee!

King of George

Prof. Arnett's Voodoo Econ 101

2010-05-07T12:45:00.009-04:00

Finest People:

Having matriculated in International Economics at the University of Lausanne, I agree that economics is the most dismal of sciences. All those supply and demand curves, pareto charts and money supply issues.

Thanks to Prof. Arnett, it isn't dismal any longer.

Grizzly Ross has made it fun again by eliminating the need to deal in fact. You see, his 'Super Special We're Really Smart' Committee knows more than you.

(Really, how could that be? They are not even from the Historic Core!)

These gifted amateurs say the City's deficit is in excess of $11.0 million! Oh my god. Time to slip out of town in the middle of night before the meteor hits. Just like I did in Kuala Lumpur while the coconut oil futures crashed back in '83.

Yet, the City Council's own auditor says the deficit is only $3.5 million. Unfortunately, he does this for a living and is a CPA. Therefore he is completely unqualified.

Other Council members would like to raise additional money for the so called 'rainy day fund' of an excess of $4 million. You don't need this money to operate the government, especially with a revolving line of credit in place. But, apparently, it makes some pols sleep better at night.

Nevertheless, Professor Arnett has decided that it is time to knife away at the beast. His plans, distributed by the Mayor's office to department heads this week, include cutting all bus service, eliminating engineers from public works and reducing fire and police services. See the scan above.

Bully, I say. Let the people walk, public works operate without engineers and the city burn. These services are so overrated.

We hope we will not hear too much huffing and puffing from those left of center. It's time to turn the lights off on city government and go home.

Just like dear Harvey Poe said, Annapolis is a failed experiment.

King of George

Democracy, Schmocracy

2010-05-06T09:29:00.018-04:00

Gentle Readers:

The King is constantly amazed that some people just don't get a simple fact about the Ancient Citte: democracy just doesn't work here.

Maybe it is our miasmic aire. Or the perfidy of individuals. Or the ingrained class structure (the haves, the have nots and the wanna haves). Why is is so hard for some to understand this escapes me.

Yesterday, again, we had to listen to the plaintive whining of another citizen of the outer wards who thinks that the people who cast the ballots somehow should have a say in their government. Someone named Scott Lowe wrote a Letter to the Editor decrying the Cohen Administration's absent mindedness of the people who elected him.

He mentioned that young Mayor Cohen lost Ward One in the November election. Yet decidedly won Wards 3,4 and 6. After getting elected, Mr. Cohen went on to appoint Herr Smith as City CAO.

The corespondent noted Herr Smith was formerly head of something called the "Ward One Vigilante Association". An institution associated in many Annapolitan's minds with exlcusionary policies based on class.

(Is this a new group? How do I join!)

Dear Mr. Lowe, you just don't get it. In a class-based political system, such as we have in Annapolis, it is not important who voted for you. At all costs, elected officials are not to carry forward their agenda.

They are to carry forward the agenda of the class to whom they aspire. In Annapolis that means the agenda of the elite of Historic Core. Aka: me.

Young Mayor Cohen aspires to be accepted as a fellow grandee in Ward One. So he acts in our best interests; listening to us, appointing us and promoting us.

Bully!

Of course, his efforts will ultimately fail. He cannot be accepted as a full member of this club. We're way too exclusive for that.

But we will give him a few points for effort.

And, perhaps, he could join us for a meal or two on 'guest nights'.

King of George

New Anonymus Attackes Discovered

2010-05-04T22:07:00.012-04:00

Concerned Historics:

The King has discovered newly found anonymous attackes. Upon unsuspecting governing officials. These attackes have included calls for revolt and wholesale change in our form of government.

This level of perfidy is extreme.

It was discovered today that a false name was set upon the page by a printer. The documents in question, a series of screeds promoting revolution and extremism, were attributed to a group calling themselves "PUBLIUS".

This is cowardliness to the extreme. It is high time for the authorities to hunt these malcontents down and provide punishment. With a whip and pillory.

Our Government cannot stand against such attacks by Mssr. Hamilton, Madison and Jay.

Death to the Founding Fathers!

King of George

WEIKEL 'EMBOLDEN', DIXIECRATS CRINGE

2010-05-04T11:37:00.016-04:00

Dearest Historics:

It seems Mr. Weikel, that most vile of downtown elite wannabes, has now gone over the top. In a twisted variation of "The Most Dangerous Game" (Richard Connell, 1924), he has taken to hunting bureaucrats and poseurs for sport. Right here in the Historic Core.

Bully I say!

The King always enjoyed the hunts of his youth in Boreno for the critically endangered Sumatran Tiger. Only a man, his rifle and his wits against the great beast. Plus a retinue of at least thirty. With Land Rovers in tow.

So Mr. Weikel has decided to take up this most jolly of sports in earnest. First, extinguishing the short acrid political career of Ms. Trudy McFall. Then bagging City CAO Doug Smith in a short 2 month campaign (we thought at least he would have run!). Weikel makes General Zaroff look like a piker.

Mayor Cohen says he is worried. Publisher Marquart hides. Mr. Foer of Severna Park rails. They all agonize: am I next?

I hear Mr. Weikel and his battalions are planning the following enroute Berlin:
-- A personal lawsuit against ADCC Chair Nick Berry if he prints lies.
-- An organized push against The Capital's misreporting.
-- A new Democratic Party rump organization in the citte to counter the corrosive effects of the ADCC.

It's also very fortunate that no one has yet dealt with the facts in Mr. Weikel's postal cards. The gutting of citte environmental programs, the ad hoc firings and the self-serving raises and fearful paranoia.

Yes, facts are so distracting from the hunt!

Nevertheless, even though I have no time for such riff raff as Mr. Weikel, I am happy to see the most dangerous game return to the Ancient Citte. After a 340 year hiatus.

Even if the game itself is not in short supply: hypocrites.

King of George

The general filled both glasses, and said, "God makes some men poets. Some He makes kings, some beggars. Me He made a hunter. My hand was made for the trigger, my father said. He was a very rich man with a quarter of a million acres in the Crimea, and he was an ardent sportsman. When I was only five years old he gave me a little gun, specially made in Moscow for me, to shoot sparrows with. When I shot some of his prize turkeys with it, he did not punish me; he complimented me on my marksmanship. I killed my first bear in the Caucasus when I was ten. My whole life has been one prolonged hunt. I went into the army--it was expected of noblemen's sons--and for a time commanded a division of Cossack cavalry, but my real interest was always the hunt. I have hunted every kind of game in every land. It would be impossible for me to tell you how many animals I have killed."

Doug Smith's First - And Final - Junket

2010-05-02T11:17:00.016-04:00

Gentle Friends:

The king is always in favor of a good municipal junket or two.

Like examining refuse removal in Vail. Water treatment coordination in Carmel. Or public health studies at South Beach.

So, actually, CAO Doug Smith's idea last week was a good one: a trip to Ocean City to study bar operations. This, he thought, would allow key policy makers insight on how bars operate in other jurisdictions. It was such a good idea he also invited a local bar owner and Mayor Cohen himself.

Really.

Phantastische idee Herr Smith! Cavorting through the night life of Ocean City, bar-to-bar, sampling the famous 'Tipsy Turtle' at Coconuts or a 'Duck Call' at M. R. Ducks. All while performing public service for Annapolis at taxpayer expense. And city workers are laid off, services are cut and grants continue to be lost.

Word is the Chair of the CCRABL Committee, tasked with reviewing liquor laws for City Council, was less than pleased with this idea. I'm not sure why. Is it because it dis-empowers the committee or simply because she was not invited?

Lighten up! I'm sure there will be room on this bus.

Unfortunately, it seems Mayor Cohen too is less than hot on Herr Smith's travel plans. So it's unlikely it will ever take place.

Herr Smith, in recompense you are invited to take the cure with me next month in Baden Baden. The refreshment of choice there is that most plebeian of drinks: Rhine wine. But I am sure you will find a way to deal with that.

Just be sure to bring your city expense account.

King of George

Foerfest 2010

2010-05-01T05:50:00.012-04:00

At FOERFEST 2010

Dearest Readers:

You put in some mightily impressive numbers yesterday. 231 absolute unique visitors with 561 page views. Clearly, Mr. Paul Foer is the best thing that ever happened to this blog.

Thanks Paul!

So keeping to that theme, I will put on the back burner other weekend stories (Doug Smith's First - And Final - Junket) for:

FOERFEST 2010!

Where you, the loyal KOG reader, get to post your favorite Paul Foer story.

But, since it is a blog and some of you are really wacked-out, there are ground rules:
-- Your story must be factual or based upon your preceptions.
-- It must be relevant to Paul's civic life as a candidate, public official, blogger and columnist or community activist.
-- Comments off colour or off topic or 'not in accordance with' will be deleted.
-- I am sure there are other rules. This is Annapolis. I'll let you know as they are violated.

Pretty simple eh?

So have it. Let's all tell the world about our dear friend Paul Foer.

The man who drives web traffic to us.

King of George

Wither Foer

2010-04-30T11:44:00.016-04:00

Readers:

It is all an unfortunate misunderstanding. Issues of residency always are.

A rumor is circulating about blogger and property line advocate Mr. Paul Foer. Purportedly, he has suffered some personal inconveniences and has been forced to relocate from his abode on Boucher Avenue in Eastport. To someplace called 'Severna Park'.

We have all had such inconveniences in the past. For example, I had that tussle with the Sultan of Brunei's daughter in 1974 and woke up in Macao. Or that incident on the slopes of Cortina with a member of the House of Savoy that ended with my Visa di Italia revoked. Permanently.

It's also interesting to note this is the same Mr. Paul Foer who was outraged - outraged I say! - at residency issues he promoted around Ms. Zina Pierre.

To put this to rest, I can definitively state that at Monday night's City Council meeting he still claimed to be a resident of Boucher Avenue. And made that claim to the entire Council and Mayor. On TV and on the record.

Bully for him!

When I give testimony to the High Commissioner for Hamilton, I always reaffirm my Bermudian citizenship. As I do to the Council of Davos when I am in Confoederatio Helvetica. And with the Minister of Rangoon, I am Burmese.

So I get it. Lecturing the City Council yet not residing in Annapolis detracts so much from the message. Similar to showing your credit cards and preaching frugality while living on the Melart Jewelry trust fund.

And yet there is recompense for Mr. Foer. Delegates James King and Tony McConkey and County Councilwoman Cathy Vitale, his new Republican representatives, have not had the benefit of his excoriations. So he has new work to do.

From wherever he does it from.

King of George

Democrats Swarm, Ward One Vomits

2010-04-30T09:19:00.025-04:00

Governor O'Malley Speaking in the Great Hall of the People Last Night

Fellow Historics:

The King always stays away from all forms of democracy, especially political parties. Those pesky 'people' who think they have 'rights'. So last night the King found alternative amusement.

Turns out even that wasn't all that amusing.

You see last night was the annual Jefferson Jackson Dinner. And all the left wing glitterati were there. Aldermen Ian Pfeiffer, Sheila Finlayson, Kenny Kirby, Classie Hoyle and even the nefarious Mr. Weikel were seen out and about. Mayor Cohen brought an entourage and worked the room with the best of them.

Most notably for Annapolitans, Ms Moyer emerged from her exile in the West. She was welcomed back to the fold and found support and solice from fellow Democrats.

Governor Martin O'Malley gave a rah-rah speech that was followed by a downer of a discourse by Comptroller Peter Francot.

And Mike Busch even won a door prize.

This all involved too many common people for the King and, anyway, there was better entertainment to be had.

The 2 am license hearing!

Dubbed 'Pukefest 2010' by a couple of CCRABL committee members, the King was hoping for a rock'em sock'em Ward One Battle Royale involving all the good people versus all the bad people. Instead what he got was more of the same, dumbed down.

Sure we heard about all the drunks urinating and puking on our virginal streets. And music (yea, music!) that we could hear out of doors. But most of it was the same re-hashed complaints we have heard since paleolithic times.

No minds were changed yet again.

Yawn.

One moment of levity was offered by Sandy Cohen (yes MOM - Mother Of the Mayor) when she was complaining about all 2 am licenses. Inconveniently, she was reminded she supported seven 2 am licenses on West Street near her home. Flashing to anger, her testimony was effectively complete.

Yes, hypocrisy can be such a burden to us.

King of George

Residents of the Outer Wards: Are You Elite?

2010-04-28T19:07:00.034-04:00

Residents of the Outer Wards:

The King is constantly being asked: how do I become elite? Well, I am and you can too!

Maybe.

Take this special test and see if you have what it takes 'to be elite in the Core':

1. Who is your favorite Mayor of Annapolis?
a) Amos Garrett, except for his pesky dog.
b) Ellen Moyer, first term.
c) Ellen Moyer, second term.
d) Ellen Moyer, third term.

2. How many endangered Argali mountain sheep have you illegally shot on your trips to the Russian steppe?
a) Argali Sheep? None, zero, zip. The sheep I shot only looked like an Argali. It was actually a feral Merino. Please talk to my attorney.
b) 0 – 50.
c) 50 +.
d) I never shoot sheep. I pay my man servant to.

3. What is your net worth?
a) $1 billion plus.
b) $100 million to $1 billion.
c) Zero to $100 million.
d) Negative.

4. When was the last time you were in Eastport?
a) Never.
b) I live there.
c) I keep a boat there.
d) I never visit. I pay my man servant to.

5. Who is the Fifth Earl Viscount Lindley Farthingham?
a) A distant relative.
b) Dick Israel's original name.
c) The former Alderman from Ward 7.
d) Me.

6. Are you in favor of 2 am bar closings?
a) Only for my friends.
b) No, never.
c) Only in Eastport.
d) Who cares? I drink at home alone and at night.

7. Where do you park?
a) In my garage.
b) On the street.
c) In Hillman garage.
d) I never park. I pay my man servant to.

8. Who is your favorite President?
a) Jefferson Davis.
b) George Washington.
c) George W. Bush.
d) Idi Amin Dada of Uganda.

9. What are your columns made of?
a) Plastic.
b) Fast growth pine.
c) The finest mahogany.
d) The drawings say wood. Now get off my damn porch!

Pencils down.

=========================================

Now score yourselves. For every (a) answer you get 5 points. For every (d) answer you get 10 points. And you get nothing for (b)s and (c)s.

For:
- 80 to 90 Points - You are in! Fuel up the G5 and I'll see you in La Cap.
- 60 to 75 Points - Some questions remain. We'll put you in the pile for future consideration. In 2045.
- 55 to 40 Points - Time to move our of your parent's basement. Eastport awaits.
- Less than 40 Points - No need to move. Mom will have dinner ready soon.

I sincerely hopes this helps clarify your social status.

King of George

Moyer Denies Annapolis

2010-04-28T17:10:00.009-04:00

Dear Readers:

It's a question of relative merit. Or demerit.

Ms. Ellen O. Moyer has returned. The deposed leader is back upon her throne. But, in a conversation over heard by the King's agents today, she has denied us!

"Annapolis is NOT my hometown. I'm from Baltimore County!" she was heard exclaiming.

Well, we do fully understand you are not from the Historic Core. You are from Eastport. That small little place across the Gulf of Annapolis. Filled with villagers who have begun taking themselves a bit too seriously for my taste. (We, the elite of the Core, are the only ones who are entitled to behave in such a manner.)

But is it worse to be from Baltimore County or Eastport? The King is unsure. For Historics, we would probably prefer you to be from Balto County since is so far away from our beloved Core.

Then, again, we can smell Eastport. Anything you could do about those decaying fish would be appreciated.

Ms. Moyer, if you are going to betray us please do so for a respectable place. Like Davos, Aix en Provence or the Palms (either the Beach or Springs will do).

But please not Baltimore County.

King of George

The Perfidy of The Weikel

2010-04-28T10:00:00.013-04:00

Julie Stankivic, Egyptian Queen of Denial

by Annapolis Artist Moe Hanson

Gentle Readers:

The King tries to never practice the art of character assignation. However, in the case of Mr. Weikel, I will make an exception.

You see, at the City Council meeting Monday night former Alderwoman Julie Stankivic brought his name before the good citizens of Annapolis. She was the recipient of an anonymous postal card that attacked our soon-to-be former CAO Doug Smith. (Apparently she has switched political parties again since, purportedly, the mailing only went out to voting Democrats.)

The card was produced without an authority line and contained many factual errors. What these were she did not say.

What is most concerning is Mr. Weikel is elected by fellow Democrats. And he is fond of expressing his personal views. In public. And sometimes disseminating them.

That is dangerous stuff.

She is right to be alarmed. We need both an Election Board inquiry and a State's Attorney investigation. Plus Mr. Weikel should also be put under surveillance and have his home seized, just to start.

But we must not forget his most egregious crime: living in the Historic Core and rejecting his fellow elite. This is the Ward One equivalent of high treason and only a disemboweling on City Dock is adequate punishment.

Ms. Stankivic - wherever you are from (someplace called Ward 6?), thank you for pointing out the crimes of Mr. Weikel. He must be punished.

It is our honorable duty.

King of George

Word of the Day: REVENUES

2010-04-27T14:59:00.028-04:00

Fellow Historics:

Annapolis is filled with many smart people. Our dear friend Greg Stiverson likes to say Annapolis has more smart people per square foot than any other citte in America.

So what happened with Ald. Ross Arnett's special finance advisory committee report Monday night?

Senior experienced managers who have a track record with budgeting and expenses carefully examined the budget. And they made observations and conclusions about city spending that few without a detailed knowledge of the budget could find fault with. In all likelihood, they got it right.

Or, more precisely, half of it right.

In budgeting, COSTS = REVENUES (or so my trustee insists). So they looked intently at the left side of the equation without any apparent consideration of the right.

The problem is that the so-called budget 'crisis' is not being driven by a change in costs (Josh Cohen's proposed spending is virtually the same as Ellen Moyer's). Rather by a reduction in revenues to the City.

Annapolis is apparently not completely immune from the global economy. Tax revenues are down as is our share of gas taxes that fund transportation. And, more significantly, the grant revenues from the Feds, the State and many other sources are down.

Most disturbing is the drop in grant revenues. Grants are discretionary sources of revenue. You have to find them, apply for them and then administer them. They do not come automatically, they require management and work.

The City has done a poor job in maintaining this critical source of revenue, losing some, bobbling others and just losing track of many due to staff turmoil.

We know that the Federal Waterway Improvement grant of $250,000 has been lost, that MTA grants are gone or not applied for, other cultural grants have been dropped (e.g., The Big Read Grant), Federal stimulus monies for the Markethouse mysteriously lost and many others (see: Let's Get Fiscal, 4 March). And, interestingly, all lawsuits have been dropped against contractors who cost the City millions on the police department construction.

The expectations for the economy are bullish and Obama-nomics is now working. Wall Street and the stock markets have definitively answered 'yes' to these questions. In an informal poll of 5 ABA members, all report stable or improving sales in the first quarter. Which means the City's share of this tax pie will rebound.

It's a classic move to hide a political agenda behind a 'crisis'. Things that are either impossible to reach a political consensus on (e.g., shutting down the city bus system) can be achieved through fiscal manipulation by ideologues. (Read Namoi Klien's NYT best seller Shock Doctrine for this technique used on a larger, global scale.)

And so we heard alarming language Monday night. Shortfalls, deficits and a 'crisis'. A 'crisis' that requires us to cut the fundamental services of City government. Protecting people, neighborhoods and our environment.

Without criticizing any one individual, this committee represented a group of people with a deep experience in dealing with costs, but not revenues. None ran businesses that were dependent on multiple sources of income. None were responsible for multiple grants. And none seemed to express any sensitivity to the fact that revenues are dynamic.

They go down. And they go back up.

So what is Ald. Arnett's agenda in talking only about costs and not about revenues? Does he want to strangle the City of its financial resources?

King of George

FLASH: MOYER RETURNS TO CITTE

2010-04-26T13:08:00.068-04:00

Dearest Readers:

As predicted here, today former Mayor Ellen O. Moyer has returned to the Ancient Citte. This monumental event occurred after her 6 month post-election banishment.

Due to general political tensions, her arrival was unheralded except for a close coterie of supporters, family and friends. We expect little to heard from her initially as she re-establishes her political roots which have been dormant all winter.

In Annapolis, April 27th. shall forever now be known as "Annapolis Liberation Day". It was a most dramatic scene that we expect future Annapolitans will fondly remember and re-enact for generations.

Ms. Moyer is to make her first public appearance at this week's Democratic Party Jefferson Jackson Dinner. She is expected to be seen with Governor Martin O'Malley and survey the political carnage created by others in her wake.

The capitol for her political travails will be Eastern Avenue in Eastport. To keep extremist political riff raff at bay her consort, Mr. Dale Maddox, has already been sighted toting a blunderbuss to the parapets of the structure.

From there, we expect her to retake the Ancient Citte in an olde fashioned Ward One street fight. Ward by ward, street by street. We even understand some have already become secretly allied with her in exchange for support for future political aspirations.

This story is only beginning, so readers should standby for an interesting ride.

Le jouet est fait.

King of George

NB - To add injury to insult it appears Mayor Cohen & City Council last night definitively told CAO Doug Smith that his contract will not be extended beyond 30 June. We wish him all the best in his future political endeavours.

More Secrets, Less Democracy. Please!

2010-04-26T08:27:00.022-04:00

Fellow Elite:

I need to make this clear. I fully support secret societies and groups. Like John Francis (Jack) Donaghy, I am an active member of a number of them. (If I told you who they were then they would no longer be secret, would they?)

So when I heard of CAO Doug Smith's association with the 'Stop the Gunfire' Group in Eastport I was initially encouraged.

This group had a quest to purify Eastport of crime (more specifically, the Ward 6 Eastport part of public housing). They went to extremes. Holding unannounced organizational meetings. No public election of officers. No charter or by-laws. And public forums that usually consisted of one or two associates talking over and down to others. About as transparent as Mississippi mud.

Bully for them!

Herr Smith was a enthusiastic participant in this cabal. Attending most of their meetings and attempting to organize 'outrage' in Ward One along the lines of what purportedly existed in Eastport. He even was a supposed victim of crime himself (see: Levitating Burglar to Return? , 14 April).

Yet there was a problem. And it isn't an issue of 'were they effective or ineffective' in achieving their goals. After all, even that noted communal democrat (small 'd') Tom Jefferson made the stage coaches run on time.

It's a questions of their means to an end.

They invited the rabble into their tent -- but, of course, not let them have a leadership voice in the group, vote, stand for election as an officer, write by-laws, etc...

Upon further reflection, I am now quite concerned about Herr Smith's participation. After all, as CAO he must represent only the needs of us, the elite of the Historic Core. Yet by tying up with this group of Eastporters he has shown his willingness to take any means to an end. Even dealing with the rabble beyond the creek.

It's a dangerous precedent to set, dealing with Eastporters. Even if they do run an opaque organization whose ultimate aims are unclear.

We have enough opaque organizations on this side of the creek that are, more appropriately, run by us, the elite of Historic Core.

Come home Doug.

King of George

SHOCKER: MOYER IN HAVANA!

2010-04-24T17:29:00.023-04:00

Brave Hearts:

Are you sitting down?

In a surprise phone call from the King today, former Mayor Ellen O. Moyer let out a shocker: she has made an unscheduled side trip to Havana.

An ancient port city like Annapolis, Ms. Moyer reported that the historic district of the city was quite fascinating, with many old and noble buildings recalling an European-inspired earlier era. She also reported that Havana's City Hall was very run down and in disrepair.

Of course, Havana is well known for being an early European settlement in the the new world and a gathering place for native peoples.

This excursion was totally unexpected and at the request of her traveling companion and man servant, Mr. Dale Maddox.

Apparently he 'had a hankerin' for some home cooked fruit pie. Havana, Illinois is also well know for its local farm cooking.

Ms. Moyer now expects to be home in time for the Jefferson Jackson dinner next week in Glen Burnie.

King of George

Politics and Polo

2010-04-24T08:27:00.063-04:00

Dearest Readers:

I have never been too keen on team sports. Except polo, my first love. A full 8 chukkas on an outside ground.

Excellent.

Politics is not polo and my interest wains. Nevertheless, as we handicap polo games, politics is a local team sport that I must make remark of when one side gains a distinct game changing advantage over another.

Such is the case now with CAO Doug Smith in City Hall.

You see, before being appointed CAO, Herr Smith had a political history. He came to prominence in Annapolis running the Ward One Resident's Association, a quasi-political group formed to enforce our own elitist Ward One right wing political order on the City (bully for that!). Remember dear Louise and John Hammond?

Most recently, in the primary elections he supported Trudy McFall, who went on to betray the entire Democratic slate in the general election. Then, less than 3 weeks before the general election, Josh Cohen's own campaign, in a phone poll, id'ed him as a Republican Dave Cordle supporter. Even now he posts self serving political rants on right wing blogs that have never supported local Democratic candidates.

One can only imagine the County and City Republican Central Committee's glee at having one of their own in power in City Hall. Sitting next to Democratic Central Committee Member and former Chair Gail Smith. Observing and reporting every move of the Democrat Josh Cohen. And every policy of the administration that might provide an advantage to his team.

When asked about it, Mayor Cohen has said Herr Smith is a good Democrat and will fully support Team 30 and Martin O'Malley in the general election. Even though he has never supported another local Democrat (except plutocrat Dick Israel in Ward One).

Does Cohen expect Democrats to believe this? Could he really be this naive? Or is he somehow in on the game?

There is no doubt it will be a very difficult election for Mike Busch in Annapolis City:
-- Busch won District 30 in 2006 by only 500 votes.
-- Toxins from Zina Pierre's failed effort are still in the stew.
-- General African American anger about their neglect in the new Cohen Administration and their treatment in the local paper.
-- It is unlikely a far right wing nut like the 'Constitution Party' will emerge to suck 2,100 votes off the Republican base as happened in 2006.
-- Ellen Moyer's political machine is in mothballs.
-- Busch's political machine is moribund with the departure of Sarah Flynn and an unclear campaign organization.
-- A national political sentiment that will likely curve right.

Josh's own political organization is poor, held together last fall by Kathy Nieberding, AFSCME and some bailing wire. None of these will be involved in Annapolis this year (except, perhaps, the bailing wire).

At the State level, Martin O'Malley won the City by 1,400 votes in 2006. This margin will undoubtedly be decreased but Annapolis is unlikely to have a significant state wide effect.

An early success at splintering the Democrat's base by Herr Smith's policies is the loss of the key support of the AFSCME labor union. Glen Middleton, the International's President and United States DNC member (who, purportedly, has President Obama on speed dial), routinely speaks against city policies and pickets City Council meetings. Local Democrats can not help but take significant note of the activist opposition of a national Democratic Party political figure like Middleton.

How this incredulous situation could develop is beyond many observers. Most chalk it up to gross errors in judgement by young Mayor Cohen. Added to this is Cohen's perplexing early endorsement of Judd Legum while nary a word about Messr. John Astle, Mike Busch, and Mme. Virginia Clagett.

Surely the ABC's and the Governor are smarter than this. Yet they appear to have lost control of the young man and the political situation in Annapolis.

So, bully for the R's. Their man inside the Democratic machine will be radioing confidential intel to his team. The final nail in the Democrat's coffin that they could not achieve at the ballot box.

Herr Smith, you've done it again.

Advantage in this chukka - R's!

King of George

UPDATE: MOYER A CORNHUSKER?

2010-04-23T21:21:00.022-04:00

Fellow Historics:

I am perplexed to report that our dear former Mayor, Ellen O. Moyer, was sighted today by the King's agents in Nebraska. That most common of states.

Corn, swine and illegal whiskey. I think that is all it is noted for. Even good Dick Israel was shrewd enough to be born one state away in Kansas.

So a departure from Nebraska kind of takes the shine off the 'big return' thing.

(see FLASH: MOYER TO RETURN, 19 April)

Not the same as France.

Oh my. Do we need a new analogy instead of Mary Queen of Scots?

Mais non.

We will do what all gentle people of the Historic Core should do: neglect the facts and pretend it didn't happen.

King of George

NB - The dear is expected in the citte late this weekend. Category 5 about to hit 160 Duke of Gloucester.

King of George: DON'T READ THIS BLOG!

2010-04-22T22:11:00.019-04:00

Fellow Historics:

I am upset.

Over 400 page views yesterday and media reports attributing the King.

Yet that is not the point. This is not a blog for you and your freakishly twisted agenda. And certainly not for the tired and huddled masses of Eastport or Admiral Heights or even the poseurs of Wardour.

It is for us, the elite of the Historic Core.

To quote my favorite source, me:

First and foremost you must understand we are superior to you. It's not because we are smarter, more handsome or have amassed more wealth. It is simply that our minds are decided on this point.

Second, you enable us. Thank you very much. We sniffle about crime, you 'stop the gunfire'. We are awoken by 2 am rowdyism, you want to ban all bars.

Messieurs and Madames, thank you for your efforts. But your membership to the Club has been rejected.

You see it takes so much more than simple extremism to belong here.

You must attend the croquet match with friends who have jetted in from Dusseldorf, sip sherry with dear Harvey on a blustery fall day and have had secret cocktails to celebrate the renovations you have done to your home without HPC approval.

You see, our life does have a higher quality about it.

So, unless you are part of the elite:

DON'T READ THIS BLOG!

King of George

NB - If you live on Boucher or Burnside, then you should unplug your computer and step away from the key board.

Cohen Learns the Fine Art of Betrayal

2010-04-20T21:10:00.059-04:00

Brave Hearts:

It seems young Mayor Cohen is finally learning the dark arts from his henchman, Herr Smith.

About time.

Mayor Cohen, in concert with the City Council, created something called the Citizen's Committee to Review Alcoholic Beverage Laws (with the unfortunate acronym 'CCRABL'). Although he stacked the committee with 7 members of his own choosing, he allowed the 8 Aldermen to select one member each.

The purpose of this group is to review the citte's liquor licensing laws, especially enforcement, fees and the 2 am opening issue. The Committee is to report recommendations to the Council by July.

At the City Council, there has been significant pressure to move forward on the 2 am license issue yet the Mayor and some members of the Council have had a 'let the committee do its job' attitude. Thus, the 120 day rule has been suspended on the closing time issue - even though the legislation was introduced in the last Council.

And the Committee has been meeting diligently every week since March. Word from the King's sources is that they have made significant progress on a number of pithy issues, including the aforementioned enforcement, fees and closing hours.

Unfortunately, the results appear to not be to Mayor Cohen's liking. So he has quietly announced to license holders, and license holders only, a new parallel track.

Click on the letter above.

Word is that the Chairperson and the Committee had no idea of this new path. To 'discuss' and to be 'taking a fresh look' at enforcement of laws and regulations. With the Chief of Police and the ABC Board Chair.

Mandates that were, until Mayor Cohen's actions, under the CCRABL's purview.

So last night the entire Committee, including the Ward One residents and the restaurant and bar owners, voted to express their concern to the Mayor and demand an explanation. Unanimously.

We know very well what the young mayor is doing. He is learning at the feet of the Prince, Herr Smith. Obfuscate and create an ambiguous committee. If the committee actually seems to be getting traction, take their mandate away then humiliate and neuter them. Publicly.

Looks like the derailment is progressing well, irrespective of what the Committee says or does.

We hate any change in the Historic Core. So bully to you Josh!

And your scheming mentor, Herr Smith, the Prince.

King of George

Ward One's Altered State of Reality

2010-04-20T12:01:00.030-04:00

Dear Hearts:

The King is quite distressed. You see, an Alderman is impugning the HONOR of those who live in the Historic Core.

At City Council last month a fellow resident of the Core stood up before the Council and told them there was a rape.

Yes, a rape.

In front of her residence on Prince George. After 2 am bar closing. And she had heard it and had the panties to prove it! (Egad. Surely the only time someone in the Historic Core would ever exit their panties would be under duress. I certainly would have to be forced out of mine.)

At yesterday's Public Safety Committee Hearing, Alderpeople Kenny Kirby and Sheila Finlayson queried Chief Pristoop with the confounding question: "Was there a rape?". His reply was quite ambigious and easily misunderstood: "No."

So now do-gooder Alderman Kenny Kirby wants to offer legislation that would put those of us in the Historic Core under oath and make it perjury if we lie to the Council.

Really! This has gone too far.

We do not lie - by virtue of living in the Core and our station in life. Perchance, on occasion, our view of the world does not fit with a generally accepted scientific view of reality. So what?

That is reality's fault, sir!

So when my porch column drawings say 'wood' and I substitue 'plastic', I am not technically wrong since plastic is a type of wood, right?

And when my neighbor testified before Council and said she had witnessed a rape, she did not mean a real physical criminal rape. She meant the abuse we have heaped upon us for living in the Historic Core. The melting of dropped ice cream on our sidewalks. The illegal parking by tourists. And the disrespect we sustain from those of the outer Wards.

We are honorable people.

Why?

Because I said so.

King of George

FLASH: MOYER TO RETURN

2010-04-19T21:09:00.073-04:00

Fellow Historics:

King of George can confirm our own Mary Queen of Scots, Mayor Ellen O. Moyer, is now set to return the Ancient Citte. She has been cast out since the inauguration of the current regime in November 2009.

Her return will be a scene reminiscent of the Dear Queen Mary's return to Leith, Scotland from France on 19 August 1561. For strategic reasons, the exact date and time in the next week will not be publicly announced. Yet, like Mary, she has not waited for a safe-conduct pass from the nouvelle regime.

The Boy King M. Cohen and his own Sir Francis Walsingham, the shrewd and conniving Herr Smith, await her.

Prima facia the Boy King and the Grizzled Queen get along well enough. Nevertheless, the young man has an agenda and, being new to power, has not yet learned how to be ruthless in its execution. Thus, Herr Smith is likely the prime actor to carry out some of the novelle regime's most odious tasks. Like Sir Francis, Herr Smith is a callous, devious man driven by an excessive love for intrigue.

Bully for him!

This will be a fine high drama with many twists and turns. Undoubtedly it will eventually culminate in an attempt at a political beheading of Queen Ellen at her own Fotheringhay Castle on Eastern Avenue in Eastport.

To set the stage for the replay of this most ancient of plots, we have also confirmed that key advisors to Mayor Moyer are planning a meeting with her in Chicago later this week. Far from the clutches of the evil Sir Francis. Strategy and tactics for the coming political battles will be discussed, along with concerns related to the tense poltical environment in the Ancient Citte.

Yet those who practice schadenfreude should be forewarned. Mary Stuart's progeny, James Charles Stuart, ruled the realm most satisfactorily for many years and united the kingdoms of England, Scotalnd and Wales. Never was done before.

Got it Bumper, Loni, Mike, Guy and Steve?

Annapolitans are in for a treat as the drama unfolds in many acts. All sides are dug in for a long performance that we expect from these most accomplished of actors.

There will be no intermissions.

Let's hope the inevitable Greek tragoidia spills only metaphorical blood onto the streets of the Ancient Citte. Remember, there was once a reason we were the Athens of America.

And there may be again.

King of George

Next: An MTA Take Over?

2010-04-18T21:59:00.054-04:00

Fellows:

It's quite a bourgeois middle class idea, really. That if you pay for something you have some sort of say in managing it. And you expect the cash to prudently spent.

Apparently, the MTA, the state agency that funds most of our bus service at Annapolis Transit, has concerns about Herr Smith's new superior management system.

Herr Smith has directed that there shall be no bus maintenance. Why? Because the buses are new and do not require maintenance he thinks. Of course, he is correct. Anything mechanical does not need maintenance. Just run them until the engines seize.

Also, the city wants to eliminate linking Annapolis' system with other regional systems through BWI and the New Carrolton Metro Station. Always a bad idea, to create even more options for transit riders and increase ridership.

As reported here (No Mas Buses, 4 April), he has also been personally attacking Mr. Kwaku Duah, now running the Department after the departure of wunderkind Ms. Diane Matland. He felt physically threatened by Herr Smith for not giving him a PowerPoint in the correct form. Yes, PowerPoints are so much more important than buses.

So the whiny fussbudgets at MTA are concerned that the Smith Administration's bizzare practices are flawed. And we have to listen to them just because they and the Feds indirectly or directly fund approximately 80% of bus operations. And 100% of all new bus purchases. And run the largest bus system in the US.

To rub salt into the wound, the MTA has cut $1.5 million from our bus budget. Again. For the fifth year in a row. Since Herr Smith just fell off the truck from good managementville and fired Ms. Matland, the respected former director, he doesn't know that. Or how Mayor Moyer's administration filled that gap every year.

Could the MTA take over Annapolis Transit due to his mis-management? That seems to be more and more of a probability.

Nevertheless, we hope not. The residents of the Historic Core hate buses. Really. To our enclave they bring the riff raff from the outer wards and awaken us from our mid-day naps.

It's probably a political impossibility to kill the bus system outright. But, mis-manage it into the ground?

Brilliant!

King of George

Levitating Burglar to Return?

2010-04-16T17:03:00.031-04:00

Fellow Historics:

About two years ago when our dear friend Herr Smith was running the Ward One Resident's Association he was aghast at what he saw. A citte run amok. Unable to protect the most vulnerable of citizens.

The rich and elite.

This was the result of unfilled positions in the police department. Many, many, many of them.

Almost 6.

119 officers on the beat of 125 authorized.

It got so bad that downtown residents had to team up with a cadre of Eastport ruffians called 'Stop the Gunfire' (you know its bad when we even acknowledge Eastport's existence). They claimed to 'live in fear'. (On this side of the Creek we certainly did -- of them.)

Why, Herr Smith even was a victim himself. Filing a police report of a purported robbery in his own home. Where the perpetrator scaled a 15 foot outside wall. Opened a side window. And entered the house. All while suspended in mid-air without physical support.

Amazing, these Annapolitan criminals.

Today I am happy to report that Chief Pristoop has declared our citte safe again! So safe that instead of filling unfilled positions, he is now eliminating them. 14 in fact. With no increase in crime.

That is wonderful news. We hope Herr Smith will join us in rejoicing. The horrible crime problem from under staffing that existed under Mayor Moyer now has vanished under Mayor Cohen.

Into thin air.

Poof!

Just by eliminating the positions instead of trying to fill them.

Herr Smith has been notably quiet on the reduction in police positions given his cater walling of two years ago. Of course, perhaps it is because he and Mayor Cohen feel safe in their cocoon of special police protection.

But beware. Herr Smith's nemesis, the levitating burglar, may be back.

In his mind.

King of George

Of Banques and Cheques

2010-04-16T11:44:00.054-04:00

Fine Fellows:

The King has always found a use for bankers. Wiring money offshore, translating currencies or the occasional discreet payment to a former admirer. Bankers are most advantageous in all these functions.

So you can imagine my surprise to find Herr Smith had not yet used their necessary services in the performance of his putsch. Money shoveled into the furnace of government for the benefit of the elite always makes for a bully show.

Being of the servile classes in Eastport, former Mayor Moyer had this quaint issue with borrowing money. I suppose she was afraid of this 'foreclosure' thing that has so bedeviled her middle classes of late. Or, perhaps, she was worried about the citte's AA+ credit rating.

True gentlemen don't give a damn about credit ratings. So it is high time Herr Smith is changing all of this.

But please note: what is more important than borrowing large sums of money is from whom you borrow it. I suggest Rothschild. They have always taken care to the pecuniary aspects of my life. Plus, when the repayments are not made in a timely fashion (because, of course, they never are), they have been known to forgive certain debts for those of the correct social standing.

So, Herr Smith, the cheque book is now open. You can sign our citte's future away.

I can always move away.

Can you?

King of George

From La Nap to La Cap

2010-04-06T21:10:00.036-04:00

Freunde!

Fantastisch nachrichten!

Dear Aunt Freddy called from Kulmbach this morgen. They have reserved their spring suite of rooms at the Eden Roc at Cap D'Antibes. If you know meine House of Hohenzollern Aunt, then you know what this means.

We're fueling the G5 as I speak!

Yet in passing through the aircraft prive centre BWI, I noticed Herr Smith is indulging himself as well. As a Revel Street dweller his opportunities to swim at the Cap are very limited.

Actually non existent.

Nevertheless he continues his toil to make our citte even more exclusive.

He has dropped $250,000 in annual Water Way Improvement grants from the city budget. These are funds that allow boaters to frequent the waters surrounding the Core without City of Annapolis tax payer subsidy.

Cash from the Feds. Without Annapolitans coughing up a cent.

So cutting this grant from the budget means less boaters. And less annoyance to me.

In Ward One.

Bully I say! Those 'qui parle Le Francais du Quebec' north of our borders should not be allowed to moor their tubs within 10,000 yards (not metres) of my simple abode. Even if they have remained loyal to the HRH The Crown.

The pilot is signaling me. One stop in Gander Newfoundland and then ... Aunt Freddy and the Cap.

I will have sporadic email en route et en France. Keep the faith my Historics.

Le jouet est fait!

King of George

Burning $1.8 Million - A Dollar at a Time

2010-04-06T07:38:00.030-04:00

Fellow Historics:

I am afraid Herr Smith's triumph of the will is striking close to the Historic Core now. And the King couldn't be happier.

On Fleet and Cornhill Streets, if there were to be a fire or other emergency, then city vehicles do not have access. Young Sir Francis Nicholson in the Stoddert Plan apparently did not anticipate our wide-load 21st Century vehicles. Streets too tough to negiotiate when you are 14 foot wide and 34 foot long.

It's America and the solution is obvious - widen the streets. So Ms. Moyer rightfully secured $1,800,000 in funding from dear Speaker Busch and his cohort to accomplish just such a task.

Nevertheless, Herr Smith has decided that the accomplishment of this activity must be pushed back. Years. Until 2014.

(Terrible to spend budgeted monies in the middle of a recssion. Really! Economic activity is so 20th Century.)

Thus he has decided that we can take chances with fire protection and other emergency services in this area. In the interests of social re-engineering.

I understand this. But only on those two streets filled with mean little working class homes of the arrivistes. They should burn.

King George, Prince George and a relatively few other streets should remain safe.

This would allow the King and his neighbors to establish a large private park in the former area of Fleet and Cornhill. A place to romp with our Pekingese or, if we delay trucks long enough during a fire, install a bully polo field. Open to us, not you.

Yes, Doug Smith is quite the urban planner. Better than any Transition Team Report.

Please take note Mr. Purcell.

King of George

Silence Can Be Golden

2010-04-05T16:20:00.018-04:00

Fine Neighbors:

Our downtown streets are quite narrow and crowded. This weekend especially, they were filled with the raucous noise of our visitors.

Not to fear. Herr Smith has a noise reduction plan of his own. It involves paying some ex-city employees for their silence.

Under the terms of some employment contracts, certain senior ex-city employees are being paid for 3 to 4 months of 'consulting'. These are not severance payments. These contracts specifically define these payments as 'consulting services', pay for work.

But what is really happening is the City is paying them for doing nothing. Nothing at all. Full pay for 3 to 4 months.

Of course, the King understands this is not what these transactions are really all about. Herr Smith has no intent to use them for any 'consulting services'.

Rather, he is paying them to keep quiet. Quiet about what is happening in City Hall. Quiet about lost grants and revenues. And quiet about insider connections and prospects for future deals.

No noise. Don't spill the beans. We cannot air our dirty laundry in public. Vous savez.

So, while Herr Smith gave himself a $53,000 a year raise and is firing employees right and left, taxpayer cash is being spiffed under the terms of senior employment contracts for silence. Err, consulting.

I suggest they expand this program to include our soon-to-arrive summer visitors. Especially a rotund young fellow who cater walls under my window on King George Street. In the middle of my afternoon naps.

Little mongrel. Let's pay him to go back to Glen Burnie.

King of George

Back Creek Neglected by Smith

2010-04-04T12:05:00.006-04:00

Fellow Historics:

I am solely focused on the Historic Core. All the municipal resources should be focused here. It is what matters and what is important.

So, I am happy to report Herr Smith has continued this concentration of resources downtown. Now this has meant killing environmental educational programs on Back Creek. Set up as an urban living classroom on the environment, Herr Smith recognizes that doing anything for the Creek is a waste of resources.

Even though this area has the highest concentration of economic activity outside downtown. And is the core of our maritime industry.

Economic development through environmental deprivation.

Bully for you sir!

King of George

Of Money, Epsom and Annapolis

2010-04-03T07:25:00.011-04:00

Dearest Friends:

It is Spring in the Ancient Citte and an old man turns to his passion. Horse flesh.

My thoughts today take me to the Derby in dear Epsom. If you have never seen it run, I highly recommend it. The track is really not a track at all. Rather a merry romp through the village on the majestic beasts. And, of course, the Royals are always in attendance.

Here in the Ancient Citte we have many horse flesh admirers as well. The Moyers are well known afficiandos. Both Pip and Ellen along with sons Mike and Steve.

Less well known is a rumor swirling through the Historic Core about our Finance Director, Mr. Timothy Elliot. According to this back fence talk he too fancies himself to be quite the judge of horse flesh. So much so that he seems to rather enjoy many wagers on the animals.

If true, I rather like the idea that our finances are in the hands of a man who cannot keep himself away from the track. It seems quite appropriate, really, given the so-called shortfalls in the budget he keeps exposing. Two similar games of chance. One played with public monies. And the other?

So, bully I say. Let's all proceed to the track - or City Hall - and place a wager or two or three.

The outcomes of which are equally in doubt.

King of George

No mas buses

2010-04-02T09:25:00.020-04:00

Mes Frères:

I have never been much for transportation. I prefer a regal carriage to a car. Even a Bentley.

I am so encouraged to hear that Herr Smith has decided to do away with the City's bus system. First, he fires most of the bus maintenance department. Then (surprise!) most of it will be shut down and the remainder (shuttles) will be placed under a certain Mr. Foyer. A person most noted for suing neighbors over fence lines on some place call "Boucher". In the outer Wards.

Additionally, Herr Smith has decided it is time to personally attack the poor man tasked with carrying out his dismantlement. Kwaku Duah, now running the Department after the departure of wunderkind Ms. Diane Matland. Yesterday he was physically threatened by Herr Smith for not giving him a Powerpoint in the correct form.

Yes, Powerpoints are so pesky.

It is always good to threaten City employees with a beating when they do not meet our standards. Like we did with the Pakis in the colonial days.

I know this is getting tiresome, but I must once again agree with Herr Smith. The City should not be in the transit business. People without enough net worth should be tasked to walk.

And physically threatened.

Like Mr. Leopold does in the County.

King of George

Horrah for the End of Accountability

2010-04-01T11:53:00.029-04:00

Fine Fellows:

I have never been too particular in respecting the law. Pesky things that constrain my oft Bohemian excesses.

Unless those laws apply to others. Then, naturally, they must be obeyed!

Clearly Mr. Smith is harmonious with me on this point. In his orgy of firings, he has personally done most of them. Quite fun, really.

Problem is that the law designates Department Heads as the appointing authority and the firing authority when insufficient funds exist. It also provides for a bottom up process. Last hired, first fired.

Of course, city employees are subject to civil service laws. These laws provide for a non-political rational process of personnel management. And there is the Civil Service Board that controls the behavior of non-elected appointees like Herr Smith. If the board finds the city acted illegally, then the employees can be reinstated and due back pay. All they must do is file a greviance with the board.

To top it off, Mr. Smith has decided the City needs to hire a third full time attorney. And we hear of additional requests in the wings to hire outside legal services for an additional $20,000 (a request that Ms. Moyer cut from the budget last year).

To deal with the on rush of law suits no doubt.

Yet Mr. Smith must be excused. You see, it is jolly fine fun to fire people and retreat into your APD defended cocoon. This lusty activity must be undertaken in situ and in person. No point in following the law and allowing the Department Heads any input or to do it.

And Mr. Smith knows a good attorney is worth his wait in gold. Especially at the right place and at the right time.

Like my 1971 incident with the young lady in Martinique. I swear I was only cleaning the gun. Almost ruined a good excursion.

After all, accountability is so bourgeois.

King of George

No More Boatshow!

2010-03-31T14:07:00.003-04:00

Historics!

Bully news. I have just learned that the 2011 City Budget accounts for no revenue from the Boat Show. No revenue!

A cool $600,000 unaccounted for.

Perhaps they have moved the show to Pasadena or Glen Burnie. This certainly couldn't be an error by the crack accounting team in City Hall.

My afternoon naps in October are safe again.

Thank you Mr. Smith!

King of George