Friday, March 18, 2011

Fences & Ascots

The King's Compound, Old Caribee

Fellow Historics:

The King has found refuge in his compound in the Olde Caribee for quite some time now.  The winter's wind does no longer thrill the King.  Rather he yearns for the tropical latitudes.

The sap is arising and the end to all that is finally at hand.  To quote dear Geoffrey:

Engendred Flour
Whan that Aprill, with his shoures soote
The droghte of March hath perced to the roote
And bathed every veyne in swich licour,
Of which vertu engendred is the flour;
Whan Zephirus eek with his sweete breeth
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the Ram his halfe cours yronne,
And smale foweles maken melodye,
That slepen al the nyght with open eye-
(So priketh hem Nature in hir corages);
Thanne longen folk to goon on pilgrimages
And palmeres for to seken straunge strondes
To ferne halwes, kowthe in sondry londes;

(Ah, the middle tongue.  Why shan't we bring it back?)

The King has returned to his throne in the Historic Core, albeit it for a limited term.  Ready this week-end to perform his annual Spring ritual: the Burning of the Ascots!

The Squiress' Fence
Alas, it seems the political sap is rising in the Ancient Citte and may cause ruin to the moment. 

You see the ruffians beyond the Gulf in dirty old Eastport-ville have issues on their hands.  All sorts of issues.  Propelling this is a pedestrian plastic fence, built by a squiress in accordance with the law.  Yet the fiendish 'Porters have an objection.  A number of objections actually.

It's ugly they say.  Without merit or purpose.  Improper procedurally.  And the paper work was forged.  And then notarized!  (What is a good controversy without the involvement of a forger or two?)

A 'Porter Criminal Behind a Fence
 The fence will undoubtedly create crime they say.  The same way sidewalks, streets and parks do since criminals use them as well in Eastport.

Their Alderman even got involved.  Confused about his role, he led a band of misfits to abuse the poor squiress. Called five police cars.  Then denied it all.

Poor Mayor Cohen was then forced to enter stage right, meeting with all those aggrieved and binding their wounds.


A Winter Ascot to be Burned
The only fence the King advocates for Eastport is one at the east end of the bridge.  To keep them out of our Core.  Especially away from our exclusive and reverential ceremony this Saturn-day when we Historics burn our now fecund winter ascots. 

All while sipping sherry with dear Harvey and Josie.


Keep the 'Porters out and away.  Out of sight is out of mind.  Just relocate the blasted fence to the business end of that foolish bridge.  (I knew the General Assembly should never had let us build that thing in 1870.)

We will all be better off.

Baden Baden: The Cure & A Countess
Ah, but now my mind now wanders toward taking the cure in Baden Baden with the Countess.  And frolics in Venezia soon thereafter.

Historics, even though my sojourns may move me afar, my heart is with you. 

And I ask you, please, only use fences to keep the 'Porters from us.

King of George

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

L’état, C’est Moi

Many have been asking what has become of the King ?  Let it be known these past few months I have spending time abroad visiting our French and German cousins and find it exceedingly difficile to focus on the minor concerns of the colonies. Their host of little problems, political situations and minutiae of so very minor importance seem not register on the royal radar at all.

America, like the Ancient City, it seems has sunset.

I am sorry to say but la Ville Ancienne has rather become a bore as of late and collecting etchings have been of more interest to me.  I have come to admire and collect your native artist Don Swann and found his work captures the spirit of what first attracted me to the Citte in the first place many years ago. Frankly the sense of a true colonial city surrounded by an unspoiled natural world has left the place.   I too may have to go soon to places that are of more interest if much needed changes are not made at the Provincial Government level. Would your Mayor resign if asked ?

I have taken a liking to Hamburg and found it to be a wonderful place and the Europeans do have an appreciation for Culture I find lacking at present in backwatered Annapolis.  Perhaps one day you shall have standing once again on the global stage but it will most likely not be for a very long time unless you get some leadership which seems a very long way off.

 I frankly don't have the time nor inclination to care anymore.

With Kind Regards,

Your King

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Got $200,000? Mayor Cohen Doesn't

Dearest Historics:

The Finance Department heist lost the City $120,000.  Now the latest: the Safe Streets scam lost the City $200,000.  Money it never bothered to collect.

Some detail. 

In December of 2009, Zina Pierre's lobbying firm helped the City of Annapolis apply for and win a 100% grant of $200,000 from the Federal Government. For 'Safe Streets' - public safety - purposes.  At the time city officials had to go to Washington and actually work to get it.  Lobbying Sens. Milkulski & Cardin and Rep. Sarbanes.

The money has been sitting there for almost a year now.  Through the birth of the Cohen Regime.  Into the dark days of Herr Smith's faked 'budget crisis' layoffs.  And all summer while the Mayor spent his time having fun running his friend's campaign.  Gee whiz! 

Now into a new Federal fiscal year.

Yet this clock is still ticking - for a time.

Will the Cohenistas pick up the pen or a phone and go collect the money?  The Feds will eventually decide it is better spent elsewhere.  Like in Des Moines, for example.

So much money has been lost by this Administration through oversight and neglect.  And the results of these losses placed upon the backs of citizens and city workers. 

What's another $200,000 to Mayor Cohen?

Not much, really.

King of George

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Cohen Lays Down the Law, One He Opposed

Dearest Historics:

As you know, the true elite of the Historic Core don't give a hoot about 2 am licenses.  We drink alone.  And at night.  We would certainly not be caught in the gins joints of the Ancient Citte.

So what if the new 2 am law passed?

Well, apparently some gears of citte government agree with the King and may not be fully engaged with the new law.  Let's see, could it be the Planning Commission, the Board of Appeals and the ABC Board?

Mayor Cohen thinks perhaps, maybe.  So much so he put his thoughts in writing. To the Chairs of the respective citte committees.  Click on the above.

The New Look at City Hall

Jon Arason, Director of Planning and Zoning, is in the cross hairs.  Some Council members are blaming him for foot dragging and obfuscation.  Mr. Arason, a long time citte employee and well liked personally, apparently is not that adept at reading the tea leaves.

This Council is activist and has more power than any Council in recent memory.  And he is on the bubble.

We're not sure where this is all heading.  The hold-ups on the new licenses appear to be real.  And the Mayor has now laid down the law.  Are there fireworks coming?

Join me at my estate for a cognac at 3 am and we can debate this noble topic.

King of George

Foer: KOG is Taliban!

Deraest Readers:

The King of George Victims Centre is again open for business.  In this case the complainant is our own M. Paul Foer.  Local hate blogger, Capital columnist and shock jock.

You see, he has decided once again that he, Sir Paul, is the ultimate arbiter of truth and justice in the Ancient Citte.  Courtesy of the miracle of forwarded emails (that are making the rounds), the King has learned of his latest inquisition against businesses and the body politic.

Recently, M. Foer (pronounced: ˈfi-(y)ā ) sent the following inquisitive missive to one Mr. Craig Purcell, AIA; native Annapolitan, Annapolis Political Scene blogger and noted Baltimore architect:

"Mr Purcell   Please explain your business relationship with Lehr Jackson and Gone to Market. This is an important item that you should have disclosed considering that you were on the Mayor's Transition Team and also that you are frequently writing about the Market House." 

Perhaps rightly, Mr. Purcell felt that he owed no private business information to M. Foer and responded the same.  Yet M. Foer persisted, now with personal innuendo:

"I am well aware of your opinions about me and your many false assumptions and accusations, but that is not my concern. You use your blog to defame me and others on a regular basis, but my question here is straightforward--what is your business relationship with Lehr Jackson and Gone to Market LLC? Thank you."

Once again, Mr. Purcell resisted the affronts of the hate blogger / Capital columnist.  And, again, Mr. Foer persisted:

"While you continue to question my motives and attack me personally, you refuse to answer a legitimate question posed to you, but you can see that what I am doing is part of the normative news gathering process, something which is apparently foreign to you. You have been given repeated chances to answer the question, and as a community activist and blogger, you should certainly make any apparent conflicts of interest known."

"The normative news gathering process".  Huh? 

Even the King is baffled.

At that comic interchange Mr. Purcell relented.  And gave M. Foer what he wanted.  That there is no business relationship between himself or his firm with Mr. Jackson or Gone to Market LLC.

But, as you guessed.  It wasn't enough for M. Foer:

"You've had plenty of opportunities to talk with me but instead you have resorted to attacking me personally, insulting me, accusing me of all kinds of misconduct (all of which was actually things in which you engaged--it's called projection) and questioning my motives, suggesting I am somehow "on the take"...and it gets worse. And you expect I should become transparent with you? I already am transparent."

Yes, transparent.  Transparent banner ads for support, transparent fee-for-politics events, transparent employment by The Capital and WNAV.

Like mud.

Nevertheless, M. Foer had one last rub for dear Mr. Purcell and the other bloggers of Annapolis.  Starting, for dramatic effect:

"I don't make deals with terrorists."

Gen. Ariel Sharon, IDF, standing at the gates of Beirut in 1982 couldn't have said it better. 

So M. Foer continued:

"Regarding your imagined conspiracies, I will again say there is nothing of the sort going on. The fact that you and your colleague[sic] spend so much time and energy writing and worrying and complaining and attacking me, and everyone else you attack, is absurd."

So, Annapolis Political Scene, Eye on Annapolis, The Annapolis Sound and yours truly will now make the TSA "No Fly" list?  Are we doomed to spend the rest of our days in a cave in Tora Bora with you-know-who?  And only a 12kbs dial-up modem to Karachi?


I, sire, for one am no terrorist.  I remain loyal to God, Queen and Country.  Even if its not the same ones you adore.  And you shall pry the Historic Core out of my cold dead hands. 

(That is a bit much, eh?  But M. Foer has me rattled!)

But there is good news for M. Foer in this cloud of gloom and doom.  After receiving its first client, a Ms. Charlotte Weinstein, the KOG Victims Centre is open for M. Foer himself.

We have tea with crumpets and counselors so you can talk-therapy your way back to mental peace.  Undeterred by fears of terror attacks on Boucher Ave. (or should that be Severna Park?). 

But please remain calm.


King of George

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Dust Settles. It's Saddam vs. Young Griz

Dearest Neighbors:

As we all know by now, the dust has finally settled and Chris Trumbauer squeaked by Chuck Ferrar.  Yet, Mr. Trumbauer is not yet in the clear.  He has to face the Monster of Monticello, Doug Burkhardt.

Mr. Burkhardt, with an eerie resemblance to Saddam Hussein, is best known in Annapolis for being Dick Israel's opponent in 2005.  Losing by a solid 60/40 margin.  His outlandish claims ("Hookers in Ward One!", "Hillman Garage Scandal!") largely fell on deaf ears as his highly charged campaign style turned-off many in the Historic Core.

So as a consolation prize he was then was appointed by Governor Ehrlich to run his "Smart Growth" office.  As a direct report to the then Secretary of the Maryland Department of Planning Audrey Scott (mother of his campaign manager Larry Scott - see below, now Chair of the MD GOP), it was an office Ehrlich had no love for and wanted dead.  Mr. Burkhardt happily acquiesced and tried to kill it over the objections of the legislative branch that legally established it. 

Fred Shubbie's Facebook Pic.  Really.
His campaign is being run by our very own Fred Shubbie (a.k.a. Larry Scott, son of Audrey Scott - see above).  Fred-Larry is best known in Annapolis for his multiple-campaign train wreck in the 2005 municipal election.  Where he ran most of his candidates right into the ground.  His favorite technique was a comparative chart that distilled inaccuracies down to obvious propaganda. 

Let's recap: Mr. Burkhardt hires Fred-Larry to run his campaign.  He loses and gets hired into State Government at $90,000 a year to work for Audrey Scott.  Then he hires Fred-Larry Scott to run his next campaign.  With significant support from the MD GOP - Audrey Scott, Chair.   Hummm.

Nevertheless of his internal conflicts, we're anticipating a campaign filled with invective, misrepresentation and general malaise from them.  It's their play book.

Thus Chris Trumbauer, who resembles a young Grizzly Adams, has his work cut out for him.  Or should we say his backers, the people doing the work.

Mayor Cohen, Kathy Nieberding, Doug Gansler and MSEA all will have to pull out the stops.  Irrespective of their own weaknesses, they are starting in a strong position with Team 30 out to a strong start.  Governor O'Malley's effort within the city is being run independent way with heavy support from old time Eastport Dems and their hanger-ons.  This will also pull votes Mr. Trumbauer's way.

It will probably require not a huge but a significant cross over vote from Democrats in order for Burkhardt to win.  It's unlikely that Doug and Fred-Larry can make this happen with their insipid and angry campaign style.

Honey catches more voters than vinegar.

King of George

Monday, September 27, 2010

Arnett to Secede. Kirby to Fight.

Dearest Readers:

The King has always been a fan of wacked-out politicos.  Like Texas' Governor Rick Perry.  Who threatened that his state would secede from the union.  And then do what I have no idea.

Now, one of our own Aldermen is threatening to secede from the Citte.  And another is threatening him.

Some background.  Mayor Cohen has Friday lunches for the Council.  They are held in different restaurants on different Fridays and are not publicly announced.  I suppose that makes them 'secret', right?

(How he gets this past the open meeting laws we don't quite know.  But, as readers are aware, the King is no fan of doing business in public anyway.  Smoke filled rooms are much more preferable.  So bully for the young Mayor!)

So far, these lunches have met with mixed success.  Often the Mayor ends up eating more crow than anything on the menu.  And often the Alderfolks go astray with threats and counter threats to each other and the Mayor.

Last Friday's was held at Castlebay and shows just how absurd these luncheons have become. 

Alderman Arnett, it seems, is miffed again at the Citte.  He threatened that if he did not get his way Eastport would secede.  (His motivation for this is clear: if Eastport pulled out it is the only plausible way the words "Mayor" and "Arnett" would ever lexographically marry.)

Yet, Alderman Arnett should have stated more accurately that his half of Eastport would secede.  Aldermen Pfeiffer and Kirby have the two pieces of the other half.  And Alderman Kirby at least would have none of it.

"We will send a boat with armed black men to prevent a secession.  Just like George Washington crossing the Delaware." he threatened.  "It's our home too."

So we will have an armed insurrection to prevent the secession of the elite-want-to-be's from across the Gulf of Annapolis?

I say, let them go.

In fact, encourage it.  The quicker they leave the better off we will all become.  The Historic Core shall regain its rightful place as the throne room of the citte.  And Alderman Kirby's militia is much better placed at the gates to the citte to keep the rabble out.

Of course, this makes us anticipate Friday's theatre of the absurd all the more. 

Maybe they will want to annex Arnold so Alderman Paone can get elected Mayor of something too.

King of George