Monday, May 17, 2010

Aldermanic Mud Wrestling

Fellow Historics:

The King is a big proponent of the physical competition of Mano a Mano sport. Pugilism, Greco Roman wrestling or even the mock combat of jujitsu brings a smile to my face.

So you can imagine my exuberant delight at discovering Mayor Cohen has scheduled a contest unlike any other ever seen in the Ancient Citte: a get together of former Alderman.

Yes, you heard right. Mayor Cohen has scheduled just such a brutal and inhuman event under the transparent guise of a 'Annapolis City Council Reunion'. See the above scan.

We don't believe for a minute that past or present members of City Council actually want to spend more than a nano second socializing with each other. The Hammonds, Taylor, Fox, Stankivic, Moyer, Tolliver, Cordle, Shropshire, Kelly, Carter, Chambers or 'Aussie' Christman?

Give us all a break. Something else is afoot.

Is it Herr Smith's brilliant plan to get us out of debt? A steel cage to be erected at Mears with online bookies setting the odds and taking the action -- with a cut for Tim Elliott? The King believes he knows what really is going on here.

It is just a simple affair: a Royal Tournament - a series of thrilling matches between knights!

Just imagine the tag team of Louise and John Hammond challenging all comers in a Texas last-man-standing death match! Or Ellen Moyer wrestling a bear! Or Josh Cohen himself taking on all fellow Democrats in a fight to the finish!

The opportunities for mirth are almost limitless.

So we plead with the Mayor to open the event to us, the mere mortal citizens of the citte.

After 6 months of this, God knows we need the entertainment.

King of George


  1. I am going as a spy. I will report every drink Cohen drinks, and everyone to whom he spends more than 5 minutes talking to. I will also con his wife into sharing secrets with me. I have done this before but this time I am taking my pocket-pen cam/recorder.

  2. But please. Tell Sandy Cohen to stay home.

    She'd kick the crap out of everyone there!!!

  3. Actually, we had suggested a mud wrestling match between Mayor Moyer and Site Realty to resolve the Market House.

  4. This is a wonderful idea and should go a long way to building a familial consensus among the political brethren & sisterhood of Les Ancien Régime.

    Who is paying for this event as sponsor ?

  5. If it is being held at no cost to taxpayers, why is a tax payer funded phone being used for the RSVPs and why is a tax payer funded employee of the Mayor's office coordinating this event. Cyrus is a CITY employee.

  6. City Employee ( super sleuth and spreader of facts)May 18, 2010 at 9:57 AM

    Will Cohen be using his tax payer supplied Body Guards ? will he be driving there in a city supplied car ? Will Cohen see than more than a few black people attend ? will the guest list be available to the public ? I will seek the answer to this and other questions

  7. Is this for current and past elected officials & family only ?

    Sounds cozy !

  8. Perry the PranksterMay 18, 2010 at 1:47 PM

    We as MRE radicals must crash this party, by land, or by sea, by air or by telegraph. This party must be crashed and pranked. Mears Marina is accessible--519 chester ave!!! can be accessed from 600 block of 1st st.

  9. Perry the PranksterMay 18, 2010 at 1:51 PM

    ooops...I did of course mean 600 block of 6TH st.

  10. Yeah baby let's crash the party. Doesn't this break the sunshine law ?

  11. 5 council members and its an official cc meeting subject to MD open meeting laws. Of course, Cohen will never get him + 4 to attend. His mother will scare them all away!

  12. $25 a person? The council is too broke to attend!

  13. Dearest Readers:

    It is totally appropriate for the Mayor and Council to hold closed parties for elected officials that violate Maryland Open Meeting laws. In fact, it is my understanding, that the Ethics Board has been invited to this bacchanal to preside.

    So make way for the party! We need to have some fun for a change.

    But, please folks. No dead hookers!

    King of George

  14. so it is settle--we will set up watch posts at 15:00 hours. One in back creek, one at 621 6th st , one on chester and one that shall remain nameless. Inside operative will arrive somewhat late with pen cam/recorder and watch for patterns or interaction and topics of conversation. He will then use telegraph technique to signal initiation of operation 'beehive invasion'