Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Ward One's Altered State of Reality

Dear Hearts:

The King is quite distressed. You see, an Alderman is impugning the HONOR of those who live in the Historic Core.

At City Council last month a fellow resident of the Core stood up before the Council and told them there was a rape.

Yes, a rape.

In front of her residence on Prince George. After 2 am bar closing. And she had heard it and had the panties to prove it! (Egad. Surely the only time someone in the Historic Core would ever exit their panties would be under duress. I certainly would have to be forced out of mine.)

At yesterday's Public Safety Committee Hearing, Alderpeople Kenny Kirby and Sheila Finlayson queried Chief Pristoop with the confounding question: "Was there a rape?". His reply was quite ambigious and easily misunderstood: "No."

So now do-gooder Alderman Kenny Kirby wants to offer legislation that would put those of us in the Historic Core under oath and make it perjury if we lie to the Council.

Really! This has gone too far.

We do not lie - by virtue of living in the Core and our station in life. Perchance, on occasion, our view of the world does not fit with a generally accepted scientific view of reality. So what?

That is reality's fault, sir!

So when my porch column drawings say 'wood' and I substitue 'plastic', I am not technically wrong since plastic is a type of wood, right?

And when my neighbor testified before Council and said she had witnessed a rape, she did not mean a real physical criminal rape. She meant the abuse we have heaped upon us for living in the Historic Core. The melting of dropped ice cream on our sidewalks. The illegal parking by tourists. And the disrespect we sustain from those of the outer Wards.

We are honorable people.


Because I said so.

King of George


  1. People do not lie in Ward One. Alderman Kirby needs to back off and pay attention to the liers in Ward 6!

  2. Looks like Kirby thinks it's payback time for the campaign contributions.

    Why wouldn't he let the citizen groups finish their work?

    I guess reimbursing those campaign contributions is more important than allowing a few months for the citizens to have input.

    It's just like Obama. Ram it through before they catch on.

  3. As an addition to the post above, and to pre-empt the post from Jazzy and others - it's about citizen input, not the fact that Kirby is black and Obama is black. That has nothing to do with the issue. But, for those who are unable to think, I know the race card will be played.

  4. Dearest Anon:

    I don't see Mr. Jazzy playing the race card, only you. I thought you said you were going to keep your attacks off this blog and go to EYE or APS or CP with them.

    We exclusive and are by and for the Historic Core. We are the elite. You are not.

    You may leave now.

    King of George

  5. Repay campaign contributions? Come on. Did you look at the reports? Many people spend more in a week at Starbucks than Kirby raised during the election.

    Kirby may be beholden to a group or a person, but it is not because of any campaign contributions.

  6. Kenny is a man of the people. Don't mess with him man!

  7. Kirby seeks to break Ward One's stranglehold on the City and he has supporters on the Council.